it's holy tuesday and i am just simply in front of my computer trying to figure out what exactly to write in here.i have been basking in the wonderful galera beaches with friends.i have finally started to let out my usual free spirited self.it has been also a while since i last splurged into something i really want to do.being at galera allowed me to reminisce the youthful soul of my existence.i have recalled the wonderful times i had with my brother at the seas of our province.i love the water so much.just watching it from the shore somehow gives me the serenity i so long desire.being there too enabled me to think of where i am going.the whole year for me was so fast that i couldnt keep track with what's really happening.it was indeed so fast that i tend to forget that i have completed my academic requirements in my theology degree.what is next then for me?i am looking forward to write my paper.i am excited simply because this is gonna be something that comes from my heart.this is not something forced unto me but rather it is my choice.yes, i am going to be a theologian..a radical one.
my heart is also heavy at the moment.i miss my home and my family.knowing that my parents are getting older, my sisters and brother too are getting so caught up with their own lives.i just realize how i want so much to spend more time with them.i want to see my nephews grow up too.despite all these, i have to simply face the fact that i am here battling with my own journey.i am just more appreciative of the kind of life i have with them.deep down within me, i do wish to just simply be with them but....
i would be a year older in a couple of days.i am very much grateful for the life given unto me by GOD.The fact that He has given me what my heart truly wants is enough proof that i am not certainly living in vain.He has always shown me the path where i am most happy.I could not also deny that for the past couple of months or so, i have no zest to utter my prayers.i tend to be so caught up with all that i am doing that i fail to spend quality time with HIM but who can judge me about my relationship with my GOD?NO one.I may feel a bit of shame for not spending time with HIM more often but HE alone knows what is really in the deepest recesses of my being.At this very moment, I would like to honor HIM for always leading me back to HIM in his own pacing...in his own loving time.
I dont know if i will still teach in school this june.i have things in store for me and i need to give up a few.the very thought of me not anymore teaching is crushing me big time.it was even hard saying goodbye to them last march.it was so painful knowing i had spent great moments with them.It was hard not anymore going to laugh with them even at their corniest jokes.it was hard not to listen to each of them pouring out their emotions about a problem or a victory.this is sad for i always know it is only when i am teaching that i am given more life.I wish my decisions will be blessed.i am just thankful though i met all of these beautiful souls.i am so blessed again.for my more than 18 years of teaching, i have always been blessed..still, my heart is really breaking even with just the thought of leaving but i know there is more to life than this.im crossing my fingers though...may HE lead me to the truth about my journey again.
No comments:
Post a Comment