Chronicle...Day 1

I have not beeN in good shape for the past couple of days...week even.It's obviously my monthly lament.My body's too heavy to even exercise and all I wanted to do was stay in bed.Much to my dismay, I really could not do that because I have students to take care of. Because it is hormonal change i know not when my patience would fall short.I threw things and screamed if I heard too much noise and disturbance.Moreso, I was very sensitive to perfume/scents.My body could not tolerate these.I tried to do my breathing exercises but my body refused them this time.I felt the cramps all over me and my temper went overboard.I disliked the experience but i could not do anything.I needed to leave where I could be alone so I wont let people in the house suffer.My happiness hormone was very low.There's no other way but leave so i could divert my energy to something more positive.It was then that I remembered the Jesuit Retreat House.I called and booked myself for a 3-day retreat.

Early this morning, I packed my things and went.I said goodbye to my parents but i knew they didnt hear me well.I took the bus and slept there.I really was so tired.I arrived two hours after. I was given the key for room 6.I felt nostalgic at first.I was in the same place almost a decade ago.I noticed though that there were new people working in the house.Because it was a Sunday, I didnt see any nun welcoming me.It was very quiet except for the few chit chats of the kitchen staff.I brought my laptop and books with me.I did not intentionally want a rigid religious exercise.I just wanted to be here where silence could envelope me and where I could not hurt people in the house.My period's just terrible this time.

I was a bit dismayed when i discovered that i left all my chargers at home.I was a bit tensed of course because i havent fully charged my laptop.I had to call my sister to go up and bring all of them over.She arrived in the afternoon, took a nap in my room, took some photos with me of course and now she's travelling back home.

It was only when i got to the place that i learned that one of my spiritual directors , Father Jo Cabantan, is already a bishop in Bukidnon.I wished I could see him before I'll leave.

It's raining now and I'm in my room.I know not what's going to happen for the next few days that I'll be here.I still feel my body pains.I feel the discomfort but I am just glad I am going to dwell with this alone with My GOD.I dont want to cause pains towards my family.I know they would always understand but still I have the choice not to torture them.I can always avoid being bitchy.I dont mind spending and being away from them.I am just listening to what my body dictates on me.

my first lunch today

my working table