As the rain continues to overwhelm me tonight, my heart and my mine are also in constant distress. With my back that's also seeking my attention, I am almost going to give up.
The weeks has been tiring. The daily stuff is already becoming toxic for me. I dislike the travel.the cold.the heavy bag.the meetings.I only love teaching.
I am angry at God now and I almost curse HIM. I asked him the same question concerning my family. "Why did he allow me to have this people in my life?"
I hate the fact that there are always vicious cycles that happen. I am gonna explode soon.I am almost forgetting I am a yogin and a moral theologian. My family is pulling me down.
I dislike the dysfunctionality. I cant seem to move forward everytime I am confronted with family issues.
Why do I have parenst like them? I have been battered when I was young. My sisters were not spared. My brother too. My mom's the violent type. I havent even loved the fact that she curses. She's not the typical gentle mom.I havent even remembered the time she hugged us.I grow up learning to gentle on my own accord.
My dad is milder but he has no great initiative for providing us what we actually need. I grew up trying to pay for my tuition. He maybe a cool dad but he has become so distant.
My siblings are pains to me too. I couldnt even depend on them. I abhor going home.
Right now, I want to forget about them.I want to be free from their dependency. i am so tired. I am so totally sick of the constant bickering.I loathe my sister's violent tendencies.
Family's arent perfect but hey, I am very consumed!
Please God...help me accept all these.
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