PhD...is it for real?

With my classmates and professor in Theological Research

I have survived the first two weeks of PhD program in Theology.It was honestly a roller coaster ride for me as I still feel like an alien invading an unknown territory. Being with classmates who  more or less have background with Theology stuff, I  categorize myself as an underdog. My one year teaching experience in the field doesn't suffice. There seems to be many things I have to learn. Doing discourse analysis is tough.I had a hard time connecting theological matters.

What am I doing here? was the very first question I asked the group in one of our classes in Biblical research. I was just very overwhelmed. My classmates are great people to be with.The professors are nice, so far. Still, I feel this is not really for me.

It's summer and I have nothing BIG to do so I decided to give this study a go. The school is also generous enough to grant me free tuition and some  monetary subsidy. I am blessed certainly. It is just too heavy for me. I feel like I have to go back from scratch.

Is this really for me? I still could not reconcile the idea that I am trudging this path. I dont know if I am resisting but I really wish I could go back to teaching English.

 Tomorrow is another day in school. Another subject.another professor.

Oh , Universe, lead me please.

Om.