A Crazy ORDEAL

 

from google images


 If there's one thing I'd like to change about myself, it would really be my PMS stage.I dislike the cycle every month knowing I become a terrible person wholly.Hormonal imbalance is such a huge thing for me at this time.I'm glad I regularly do my breathing exercises.Yoga does help BIG TIME.



I am not comfortable when my temper becomes short.It makes me think Im a bad person.This month's ordeal proved to be a heinous one.(With a big grin!) It's my family back home who became the victim of my being a warrior.My judgment was equally unthought of and I ended up being nasty.My mom was all the time suprised about all my reactions and my sister wasn't an   excemption either.I became too confrontational about petty things.




I ended up tired too and i just wanted to linger in bed the whole time.My classes were not that inspiring at times and I wished in my head my students would call in sick.I still wanted to fight my lethargy though and I was thankful I survived each day. There were things I needed to do but I simply couldn't do them rightly.My crying spell was also huge.I felt I was too ugly to face people.Generally, I was like a new creature...badly created.



My period has arrived finally and I was thinking I would become better but NO. At least on its first day, I was fine.In fact, I went out with a friend to watch a great movie.The second day was hell.My whole body was in pain.My breathing was labored still I tried to breathe as normal as possible.Doing the child's pose helped. I was simply not in control with my pains and moods on this day.I ended up not teaching my late classes.I was thankful the connection wasnt that good.It was a nice excuse to pass.



The only prayers I could muster were I'm sorry and please heal me.The sense of helplessness and surrender  were very significant during those moments.I was glad I was able to sleep soundly with good dreams still.



I guess I am a bit alright now because I could already write in here.Normal thoughts are coming in and out naturally.I still feel the pains in my abdomen and back though but it's already bearable.My moods and feelings are quite stable.I can already sing good tunes.Last song syndrome...Hey, look at the sun, it's finally shining on my life....



This monthly ordeal truly hampers my life's activity.I actually dont seriously wish that it would vanish.As I am becoming more mature in age,  I know that this is part of it.I could always fail in my means of dealing with people specially my loved ones.I am not alone on this battle.In fact, there are countless women out there who have suffer more PMS difficulties than I do.It pays to be more aware of one's cycle.It also is helpful to be more forgiving to oneself during these moments.



I remember I told my GOD I'm so tired of this.The thought of overcoming the seemingly endless pains, mood swings, depressive moments was way too heavy for me but then, I am necessarily a woman simply because I can bear all things so what better way to rise than having this fact?I bet my CREATOR knows what HE is about and HE knows my ordeal too.HE understands my laments.



I am glad for the gift of awareness about my body.I know that next month I am gonna be hurdling similar ordeal.I have yoga to back me up and I guess it wouldnt hurt much if I would  ask my MAKER to just ease my suffering a bit for the sake of my family who would be coming over to visit me.



I can see the sun smiling at me now.I have passed the ordeal and I am glad I become a month wiser in the way I deal with pains.I need to hug my body more by the way.I was a bit harsh on her when I blamed her about things.It's alright my Jen.(with a big smile,)



I have a clearer vision now of what to do for the next couple of weeks.Thesis writing, meeting with my mentor, teaching, going to the doctor.dentist and of course doing yoga.



My ordeal this month was crazy but I survived.My strength is stronger than my PMS.I'm grateful to the UNIVERSE for leading me back home to myself again.



To all the women who have the same ordeal or even worse than I have....know that you're not alone.WE ARE WOMEN and we are STRONG.



NAMASTE Everyone.Praying for healing to those who are in any form of pain.OM.