It's my first time to blog using my iPod.I am resting on my favorite mat on the floor on this cozy saturday afternoon. It's the first day of my monthly ordeal and I feel that so much of my energy is flowing out. Lower back pains are bearable but disturbing so I have no choice but rest. The practice today was fine though a bit heavy . I didn't know that my period served me in the middle of my asanas. I was glad I was able to do my full practice with full back bends and drop backs. That was a gift!
Lunch consisted of tuna sandwich and carrot bar with four seasons juice.on my way out, I passed by Sony ericsson display area and I was captivated by it's latest design. I stopped for a moment and requested for the reddish color but they told me it's not available.now, my penchant for red gadgets overwhelmed ne again. Anyway,great songs are playing right now on my favorite fm station. Guess what? I'm feeling so comfy just being in my place but I'm still wishing I was somewhere far..,in the beach alone with my books or with someone who would make my
heart beat again ...Ahhh this weather is just great!
Noteworthy of my adventures since yesterday is my ability to snap easily. I know I have generally a great deal of patience.It would take me a while before I lose my cool. I am a patient teacher but because I am not quite the sane woman today, there are few instances in my dealings with my lovely kids that I tend to get annoyed.I am not comfortable being like this but I need to forgive myself more. My hormones are very disharmonized already.
I have been exchanging messages to the person whom I considered a good friend many months ago. I realized that I am really angry at what she and the other woman did. I thought I was alright backing off but telling them what I truly feel is a different story. I just have to stop communicating.Saying my piece allowed me to be doomed to judgment.I am just happy I sent my message across even if it was interpreted the other way around.
I reflected on my friendships.There is always that cycle of letting go's.I couldnt handle injustice.I dont want to spoil people.I know I am very different from the rest.I feel at times that people get to abuse my kindness to the point of not anymore thinking about what I would feel. I guess I need to pause.Real friendships don't make one stay at the losing end.I still believe in equality.
I still am not talking nor calling home. I feel im still trapped at the kind of family that I have. I need clarity of thoughts. Right now, I am just feeling that they just need me financially.I am really tired of giving. I want at this point to also receive something even just a little.I am very sorry to my God for feeling this way. I know there is no stopping generosity.I need HIM to touch my heart and make me a genuinely generous person towards my very own family.
I still need healing now. As my monthly guest approaches, I am getting more monstrous in a way. I want to do yoga practice but my body says NO. I can only afford few breathing and meditation.I am where my body is right now. I am doing my daily thing but I really just want to sleep.
Namaste!
