First week high!

                               

So I started working again and I  must say the first week was good but tiring. I was not anymore used to long travels and what was worst was my legs were so painful that I had a hard time walking. It was a tremendous effort for me to get a ride back home and battling with the traffic and the disturbing rain. Despite these I am actually glad I work again. My heart is happy and settled. You know, once you are doing something you love, everything else doesn't really matter much.

Namaste!

Surrender, Let go, Bend and Live Life

It is still retrograding and certainly I am also still going slow and unsteady at times. There are still gaps in communication between and among the people I care about. The thought of making decisions concerning jobs online are still hazy. The episode continues...

Earlier today, I practiced with Sasheen at Joji's place. I was thinking at first I was that tired that I might not even finish the primary series. Lo and behold, with the warmth of the place and the sweat that's flooding my body, I was able to complete my full primary until yoganidrasana. I felt stronger and more flexible. I sensed a deeper grasp of the difficult poses because my breathing was steadier and more stable. 

It was amazing how I could do the drop back more than three times. What was more surprising was I was able to reach almost my ankles all by myself. Of course, I fell on my fourth attempt. I was really grateful. My yogi friends encouraged me to do it again. With Joji's assistance I did it for the last time. It was one of the most surprising feat of my being an ashtangi.

I have so much in store in my heart. I also have my worries about my family. I have my concerns about my job, my life partner, my plans and all but I guess despite all these human struggles, I know how to surrender. I know How to bend and to let go. I believe yoga has taught me that things happen but I need to live life because there is still so much beauty out there.

I am grateful for today. I am thankful that I was given the chance to let go and embrace what is in the NOW. 

I wish you well dear friends. 

Namaste.

Retrograding

I need to say that May has been a slow and emotional month for me. I just realized that it is already June 3 but my lifeline is still so filled with confusion and boredom. It is just amazing to know that I am still alright despite the slowing down of almost every aspect of my being.

There are standstills regarding my business or job ventures. Finances are getting lower each time, Family matter is annoying and stressful, I must say. My father is getting weaker each day. My practice this week has been paralyzed due to my weak body joints and colds. I just want to be laidback. I am a pig, as you know.

I only have more than a week of my summer break and University life is opening again. I am not at all looking forward to anything. All I want is to practice and go somewhere  where I am devoid of all the frenzy here and there.

The heat is still on. I am profusely sweating all the time. It annoys me unconsciously. 

Mercury retrograde is going to culminate next week, I just pray things will normalize. 

Despite all these, I am grateful I pass this episode. I wish everyone well and just stay grounded if you can even if it is seemingly hard

Om shanti, shanti

6 days with Teacher Mo

Photo grabbed from https://www.facebook.com/groups/1380430552272324/

                         
Life has been colorful for me this May. Aside from my everyday home practice, I subscribed for a 6-day mysore class with Teacher Mo at Beyond Yoga Libis. It was a great practice with him aside from the fact that the heat actually became my ally as it literally detoxified me.

I felt like a newbie in the shala though I had spent few days having self-practice there. It seemed a bit strange that I was practicing with mostly new set of ashtangis under the tutelage of a new teacher, at least for me. I was grateful that as the days went by, I was feeling more at home with my new space and fellow practitioners.

Generally, my 6 days with the teacher has been fruitful. I love how he made his adjustments on the poses. His presence was very commanding but gentle. One thing I noticed though was his being traditional in his approach. He would instill in us really the right way to do the pose and he would tend to get cute and funny when he reprimands those that defied traditions. I was honestly a bit scared doing other poses in the intermediate series as I was thinking he might give me such a hard time repeating them. Anyway, he was actually nice to me. I loved it when he respected my plea to be gentle doing the deep  backbends because of my scoliosis.

Of course, bakasana was a bit heavy for me as I was being disoriented as to how to do it. I guess that was where I stopped my practice with him. 

Today, I told him it was my last day. I thanked and hugged him because I was/am really very grateful. His energy was contagious and I would certainly miss his big voice while checking on us. 

The six days were really significant because I had the chance to meet other practitioners and shared the energies with them. I would surely miss taking the jeepney going to the shala but I have to move on and bring with me the things I learned from teacher Mo in my daily practice,

Someday, I will have more teachers to practice with but in my heart, I am very grateful that another good teacher has come into my life. Thanks Teacher Mo.

Namaste!

The Natural Push & Pull of True Awakening: Richard Freeman on Yoga

This is such a very subtle,laidback and unassuming take on how yoga can do a lot of wonders to anyone practicing it regularly. Richard Freeman said it all in a way that I am  in total agreement. Yes, it is only when we love others that will we become happy. I know from my own experience that there is always joy in helping those who need our help. Compassion is eternally something that we can offer to humanity. It is of course not easy but with constant practice of being sensitive to the other people's  plight, I guess one gets to connect. I love the reminder that yoga is all about linking.


We are all connected. Every tiny sensient being is directly connected with us and to us. Respect and acceptance then are important.



Namaste. Thanks for this dear teacher Richard.

Boredom and what it has done to me

It has been days since that poweful moon lit the entire hemisphere and it is still waning, I am still also experiencing my own moonday moments. I am literally bored these past few days. Certainly, this is not the first time I experience this boredom syndrome. Just like any active human being, time always gives me moments when I just wanted to literally STOP!

I practice everyday at home since I don't have any regular teacher on the weekdays. I like the feeling that my room has become my shala again. It is hot indeed so i opt to slice up my practice so as not to experience exhaustion. Room temperature in the morning is already "hellish."

My mind is empty for the most part of the day as I tend to be very conscious of my breathing but believe me---when you are at home for the whole day almost always there will be that tiny demons that will haunt you. And yes! I have mine too. 

I often stop to  think as to  where I am going. I have the dislike of going back to teach at the university. I simply want out and just be that free spirited being who will not be worried about the travel, requirements and expectations of people. I am less interested to teach Theology. 

My mind is filled with the desire of doing yoga more. I want to deepen my practice. I long to go somewhere and get myself taught by a spiritual teacher at least for a month. 

There is also the lingering thought of travelling and putting up my own business. I just have so much in my head.

Then I start to get worked up and bored about my state and it has become a dreadful state. Because of boredom, I also entertain thoughts and acts which are both sexual and sensual. Surprisingly, I am not feeling guilty or some sort. I just really don't like what's going on.

Then my bored self just got a little moment of epiphany today. After a good practice and a few chores at home, I started reading the book which I have bought some months ago. It's Donna Farhi's Yoga Mind, Body and Spirit. I just read her own take on the the the living principles of yoga and I feel like not going to stop. 

The Yamas and Niyamas which are the first among the ten provide me the chance to reflect on where I am in my living the yogic kind of life. I am slowly reminded about what matters to me in life and whether or not my life at the moment is what really makes me happy. My heart and my mind both are hooked because I know I am here at this stage because there is a reason. I need to undergo this journey of purification. 

The Yamas which are the wise characteristics for one to live a free life includes the following precepts:

1. Ahimsa-compassion for all living things

2. Satya- commitment to the truth

3. Asteya- Not stealing

4. Brahmacharya- merging with the One

5. Aparigaha- not grasping

The Niyamas on the other hand are the codes to live Soulfully. In includes:

1. Shaucha-purity

2. Santosha-Contentment

3. Tapas-Burning Enthusiasm

4. Swadhyaya-Self-study

5.Ishvarapranidhana- Celebration of the Spiritual

I am not yet done reading the precepts but one thing I know, I am bent to do a lot of growing up to do. After all, gold is always tested by/through fire.

The boredom that I have at the moment is not a mistake at all. I just need to find that spark once more to live the way  I should. Everything in life is perfected through practice. I am beginning to practice now.

Om shanti, shanti.

Anyung, Sally

Non-attachment is easier said than done specially if one gets to be with the person for a long time. Still, at the end of the day letting go is the best option.

I am emotional right now and I must confess I have already started crying earlier today upon learning that my online student, Sally, will have her last class with me tomorrow. With all my heart, I do love this girl and I am terribly missing her now even if I knew I will still talk to her tonight and     tomorrow.

Sally started with me some 4 years ago. She was in her elementary years that time and she had a bit of awkward first few moments with me. It was understandable as she was was not yet very comfortable with me and the English language. 

That was history then because Sally has grown so much. She has become more confident using English even if at times it may sound cute and funny. The most important thing is she can communicate. I have witnessed her growth. Despite the virtual class that we have everyday, I know we have embraced each other importantly.

She needs to focus on her schooling. As we all know, Korean education is tough and Sally is going to be in high school soon. My God, my heart is aching as I am writing this. The thought of not going to skype her everyday hurts so much. This is just very hard right now.

I will forever remember her because she has really made my life more beautiful. She just is an angel to me. I want to hug her tight. This is painful, really. Well, all goodbyes are.

I am glad I have been given the five long years to journey with her and with that I am forever grateful.

Sally, Saranghe. Till we meet again.

I did it!

The women, with James, outside the shala poses after our last practice with teacher Arne

One of the greatest gifts I got within my birthday month was the opportunity to practice regularly at the shala with teacher Arne. What seemed to be one impossibility just actually culminated today. Yes! I practiced ashtanga everyday (with rest days of course) for 3 weeks and I have been so blessed.

Everything went well. Even when there were discomforts at times specially with my lower back, I felt generally stronger and more fluid compared to my previous practices. As I dealt with my body everytime, I discovered that breathing well mattered so much. I have also relearned to be more gentle to myself and by doing so, the teacher resonated  to the way I cared about my body.

I loved how the guru adjusted me. I appreciated how much he also had grown in his approach to us, his students. He didn't impose things to me. He allowed me to grab my ankles when I was deemed ready. He pointed things that could make my asanas better but at the end of the day, it was always me that would teach my body to do the poses.

My constant coming to the shala also expanded my circles. I have gained friendships without my noticing it. The energy from the practioners was contagious. Even if we came from different walks of life, there was yoga that made us one. 

I am grateful for after practice conversation over lunch. Even a simple chat right at the changing room is beautiful. I love the yogic smiles of men and women who share the same passion with me. I am sure I will be missing the routine. 

Since yoga is also all about non-attachment, I' m letting go naturally any feeling of longing or the desire to be with the same journey. I need to move on and continue with my practice. I am certain at some point, we will meet again physically. Right now, I am just very happy and grateful I practiced. 

There will be more to come. 

Om shanti, shanti, shanti.

With my Teacher Arne

Lunch with the ashtangis with the teachers, Arne and James

Nate Ruess: Nothing Without Love [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

I must say this is LOVE! This guy can really hit notes like no other. This song is a tender reminder that life without love is nothing. Going beyond, loving may not only mean that romantic thing you have with someone but more than anything else it speaks of love that is beyond being a romantic. Love is love because that is what we all come here for. Without us giving and receiving this, our stay in this lovely world is one futile journey.

Happy watching. Thanks Nate for this.

Namaste!

YOGA GURU R.SHARATH JOIS

Someday, I'll be there. There is always something about yoga that reminds me of home-within me Dear Universe, thank you for letting me slowly come home to my self.

I am grateful to all the teachers for passing on this gift.



Om shanti, shanti.



Namaste, everyone!

on yoga and friendship

I survived 4 straight days of practice at the shala with teacher arne. This is something I rarely do for the almost 5 years of my ashtanga journey. Perhaps I am more ready to embrace all that I need to hurdle in this spiritual path. Everything is just coming as naturally as possible. One thing I appreciate about this week's encounter is that I am becoming more aware of what's gotten into me in almost all aspects of my being.

My good fear of being with this mexican yogi again slowly vanished as I am getting more aware of the kind of person that he is. I am beginning to let go of my delusions that hardcore teachers aren't humans in the real sense of the word. I am also able to extend and expand my circle of likeminds as I am beginning to embrace more practitioners whom I have not been practicing with before. 

Today is a revelation.The universe has always its own ways of bringing me to the path that I don't even expect I would be taking. Sharing meals with fellow yogins after the practice is always an exciting feat for me. What makes this day more beautiful is the fact that i get to spend quality time with teacher arne and james (another authorized teacher). 

Laughing and sharing insights and stories about yoga and life simply made this day worth remembering. I love how candid everything was. I am honoring the universe for bringing to me people that I really love to hang out with. I am glad I did not give up the practice. I am happy for choosing experience over things. 

I don't know what is beyond or before me but I know what  I need to do this summer and that is to simply live for the moment. I also need to rest more and think less. I need to practice more.

Right now,my eyes are tired and my body's wanting rest. Still, my heart is ecstatic for the accomplishment I have. I love yoga and i love my community.

Namaste everyone.

Summer Practice

I made a kind of  a promise that I will intensify my yoga practice this summer. You see, the last semester of travelling and hurdling the traffic, not to mention the frenetic demands at the university have left me without a choice but to settle for only a weekend full time practice. I could sense the need to let my body find its center again and I could not afford to suffer that scoliosis attack anymore. My back, more than anything else, has begun to take its toll on the oddities of work. I love teaching but not the politics behind it.

So I decided to attend teacher Arne's class. This time, I am aiming for an almost everyday practice with him. In my mind, I would like to rest on a Friday to be with Teacher Jon on a Saturday. Anyway, my Mexican teacher's class started last Monday and I was early at the shala. After two years of not seeing him,  I was really thinking he would forget me but no. He exactly knew my name and he welcomed me back to his class. I could not help but hug him. He's the sweetest, alright. Candidly, I asked him to be gentle with me which he gladly responded he would. Happiness!

So my practice started and true enough he changed a lot. He was way too comforting in his adjustment. I love how he simply guided me to where I could be in  my practice. I am very grateful. 

It is now my third day and my body's very sore and tired. Despite this, there is this inner push to continue because all is surely going to be fine in the end. I know I will become better and my body will find its center once more.

I will practice again tomorrow,Goodluck to my weak toes and legs. 

Namaste!

My 44th

The last time I checked in here was roughly two months ago. That was long enough. Believe me, I have been wanting to share so much about what has happened to me during that period but there must have been something that disabled me.

University life was both tough and fun. I guess that's a given. In the midst of my teaching and having a blast with my students, I also have episodes of wanting to give up. I guess I will be writing about this stuff in my next entry, hopefully.

Yes, I am 44 and what is it like? It has been like 5 days ago so I still could not figure out if I am indeed 44. The only thing I know is that I had a blast with life. I am grateful.

I had 3 great celebrations of life this year and I must say I enjoyed every bit of it. The people I have been with for the past years are very helpful with my growth. With them and through them, I have learned to value my worth as a person. My family, despite the distance has always been there. I can feel that.

I have few great friends at the university.They are those that I can easily laugh at life with. More importantly, my yoga community is growing. I need to say that I am overwhelmed with the fact that in this lifetime, I have met my likeminds. My heart of hearts knows that these are the kind of people I would like to hang out with. They are those that remind me in their own special way that I am loved,  that life is good and the universe loves me no less despite my idiosyncracies. 

I am forever thankful to the teachers of yoga for bringing into life the practice. I am grateful for the teachers I have  been with. To my teacher Jon, who has become one of my dearest and closes male likemind - I am forever  grateful. God must have been so happy knowing I have finally found my home-in YOGA.

I am 44 and I am grateful. There is so much work to do. One thing I learn within the past few days is that I need be practice, practice and to believe that all is coming. I would like the thank the great Pattabi Jois for this wisdom.

Namaste everyone.

Here are some photos of my celebrating my double 4. 

hello again

I have missed this space like i have missed going to the shala. I am getting the hype about life with all its tediousness. A lot has happened which could be considered fun also.

I just got certified as a TESOL teacher after 3 weekends of travelling to Makati and setting aside my decent practice. I must say the sessions were mostly refreshers for me. As usual, it's the people I was with that spelled out FUN.

Practice was short to none as my body needed to rest but i need to catch up. I have missed the energy and my likeminds.

School is good and irregular since we are celebrating our festivities. I'm dealling with people professionally and I make a vow not to succumb to negativity. I ignore as much as possible to linger because I still want to keep my spirit in tact. 

Where will life lead me this summer? What with low funds and all. Perhaps the beach or the mountains will do. God, I want to practice everyday.

It's ash wednesday today and I am looking forward for a holiday tomorrow.

Namaste everyone:)

Hello 2015

It has been 3 days since I entered another year. I still have been overwhelmed knowing that I am going to be a year older also come three months. Life really is going fast without my noticing it.

The first three days so far has been good to me. Despite my PMS, i am more emotionally sane and relaxed. My energy has been calmer. I am grateful.

There are few thoughts that linger in my head too. I wish to share with you that..

   1. I'd like to be richer this year. This is not because I want all the material comforts in this world but it is because I want to help more my family and other people.

   2. I'd also like to travel more-both here and abroad.

   3. I'd like to teach English more and leave Theology eventually. I want to teach the languages and literature and I want to write.

  4. I want to marry and I will with my spiritual man.

  5. I want to practice more and get myself certified to teach ashtanga.

  6. I want to meditate more, constantly, consistently, effortlessly. 

  7. I want to always be me.I won't let people and events control me.

  8. I will bend but I will not break.

  9. I will keep loving my family in my own way.

  10. I will be forever grateful-in my heart and in my mind,

May the Universe bless me. Om shanti, shanti.

Holiday anticipation

Today is gonna be the last day of 2014 in school and I will be homeward tomorrow. Mixed feelings:)

A lot has happened at work. There are relationships unpatched, and emotions are challenged but the most important thing achieved is the level of strength I get out of all these. I am human:)

 I am looking forward to a good vacation. I so miss being with nature. I wish I will spend time at the beach or at the mountains. More than these, I am truly looking forward to have a more happy and more peaceful family gathering. 

Namaste everyone!

Stepping Into The Present Moment

Stepping Into The Present Momen

Thoughts on the 3rd of December

I am counting the days till another year ends. What has become of me so far? I am thinking of moving forward..new job, new residence, new county, same old lifestyle- Yoga and teaching. I can sense that there is a bigger world out there. I just need to take it easy.

More to come.

Namaste!

Dreadful comeback

I am a yogin, an ashtangi, at that. I need to be reminded that whatever it is that I am going through is part and parcel of my entire yogic practice. I need to recognize the fact that my joy and peace aren't rooted from my job and from the people I encounter everyday. I can always find it within me. No one has the capacity to make things work for me without my permission.

My  break is almost over and I honestly can say that this is the first time that I dread going back to work at the University. I feel I don't anymore belong to the system. I wonder why everything became dreary. Is it just because of my hormones or is the universe really leading me somewhere better than where I am?

I need to be in a place where the energy is smooth, I am tired of the travel. The pollution is killing me. People's pretenses are very overwhelming.

I love my students but dear Universe, please let me love myself too.

Om,

A random trip

the heaviness that I feel is getting more overwhelming each day but this self is grateful for despite the ordeal, I still find any chance that I can get to keep myself grounded. Aside from few asanas each time, I do not  forget to stay closer to nature. Nothing beats the joy when you're home.

Yesterday, I visited a nearby park and I was so happy just by being there. Meeting few good souls made me feel more safe. I am very grateful for Kuya Roger, one of the gardeners there who became my photographer and tour guide. You see, the world is still very beautiful, indeed.

Here are some of the photos from Rave Rainforest Park in Pasig. Namaste.