FREEDOM!

Choices are part and parcel of what we call life.by the time we reach the age of reason, we are supposed to be equipped with the capacity to think of what is good for us or not.We are supposed to know what's right from wrong.We are supposed to be free and do the things that we deem right.We are supposed to know that we have choices and not let the society dictate on us or even vice versa.

I have lived all my life knowing that I am a free spirit.I've tried conforming to what the society dictates on me but i am never happy.I appreciate structures simply because they bring order..at least.Yet knowing that structures are human made, I still dont adhere to them wholly.It's not that I hate them.It's just that I am not comfortable with them,I want to go fas far as i could and for as long as i can.I want to do things rightly according to what my heart and my mind tell me.this includes choosing who i will be with.

It is just funny because I am always bombarded with people who seem to be so dependent on what we call friendship.I am not.I believe so much in parting and space.I believe so much in letting go. I dont anymore hold on that much.I used to be that clingy but I have already outgrown that.I am happier setting people free knowing that they will always come back if we are meant to be.It's not anymore my style to run after useless relationships.I withdraw from people who dont give me positive vibes.I know one when i see one.I dont judge easily.I just know when someone is not real.I dont hesitate.I leave.

Someone confronted me recently.I hate telling her all that she had to know but i had to.She was asking me if we had a problem.I told her i didnt know.I just didnt like to be with her.I told her i was not comfortable with her presence.I disliked the way she dealt with people.I told her honestly I just simply chose not to talk to her anymore.I sensed that she's not sincere.I asked her not to call me friend because i had goosebumps.It was easier for me to tell her because i knew I had given her the chance to enter my life but all i learned from her were things that would hurt other people.I didnt want anymore to waste time dealing with someone who often changed moods...someone who would stare at you as if she's the only advantaged specie on earth.I was not anymore happy of her giving negative feedbacks about other people.I hated the sight of her with all her so called friends talking about other people's lives.I decided to deal with her as someone i didnt really know.She was perhaps disturbed about my behavior and confronted me in front of other people.SO she got what she deserved.I told her that It was my choice whom to be friends with.She got mad and called me names.Still, I pitied her.She wanted so much attention and she wanted to be popular.I told her that she just cant simply please everyone.It's the worst sickness.

I was amused with the incident.I actually felt so weak when she left.She was giving out negative energies that I almost wanted to faint.I was thankful I had my inner peace to hold on to.

I am looking back at it now with no regrets.I was glad i had told her what i wanted to tell her.I knew what i wanted to say.She didnt.She was barking big time only to be poisoned by her own venom.I dont fret at her sight.She has the attitude of belittling people but i wont let her.She really doesnt know how I loathe people like that.

I choose friends who could inspire me...people who could journey with me in my quest for truth, justice and freedom.I want that person to know she could never be trusted by me.I just hope she didnt confront me so she would not know the truth.still...she really needed to know how i felt about her.That's actually FREEDOM!

Quoted....From The Tao of Pooh

No matter how Useful we may be, sometimes it takes us a while to recognize our own value. This can be illustrated by the Chinese story of The Stonecutter:

There was once a stonecutter, who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day, he passed a wealthy merchant's house, and through the open gateway, saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful that merchant must be!" thought the stonecutter. He became very envious, and wished that he could be like the merchant. Then he would no longer have to live the life of a mere stonecutter.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever dreamed of, envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. But soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants, and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a high official!"

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around, who had to bow down before him as he passed. It was a hot summer day, and the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the sun!"

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. "How powerful that storm cloud is!" he though. "I wish that I could be a cloud!"

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that is was the wind. "How powerful it is!" he though. "I wish that I could be the wind!"

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, hated and feared by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it--a huge, towering stone. "How powerful that stone is!" he thought. I wish that I could be a stone!"

Then he became the stone, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the solid rock, and felt himself being changed. "What could be more powerful than I, the stone?" he thought. He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stonecutter.

-From Benjamin Hoff's, The Tao of Pooh.