Friday, August 19, 2011



I am still on my spiritual semi retreat.It has been my fifth day of receiving HIM at the Eucharist and I am very glad I am doing it.There are still distractions each day but i am more conscious of my  weaknesses and surrendering to HIM is all I can do.

Part of my journey is reading Paulo Coelho's Warrior of the Light.It is a book that chronicles his notes on accepting failures, embracing life and rising to destiny.

Here's some of his thoughts.

Every Warrior of the Light has felt afraid of going into battle.
Every Warrior of the Light has at some time in the past, lied and betrayed someone.
Every Warrior of the Light has trodden a path that was not his.
Every Warrior of the Light has suffered for the most trivial reasons.
Every Warrior of the Light has, at least once, believed that he was not a Warrior of the Light.
Every Warrior of the Light has failed in his spiritual duties.
Every Warrior of the Light has said "yes" when he wanted to say "no."
Every Warrior of the Light has hurt someone he loved.

That is why he is a Warrior of the Light because he has been through all this and yet has never lost hope of being better than he is.

I am this Warrior of the Light and I won't give up until I am victorious. My life's  battles have taught me this.

Namaste, fellow Warriors of the Light.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

a gift..once more

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The sun has been smiling at me since I woke up this morning.It was not the case two weeks ago.I was down and trapped within me.I felt squeezed hard like a sponge and I thought I would not be able to get back in shape.I had a tremendous first two weeks of August.I didnt even know it was coming.My intuitive friend had read me right.All i had were anger, jealousy, confusion, fear, impatience.I didnt even know where in the world I would go.It was a very hard battle.There wasnt any more faith in me.I had only yoga to save my day.I was the totally lost JENNY.For two weeks I was trying to survive.I was still doing what I had to do.During moments of aloneness, I was helpless...then...

On a Sunday evening I decided to light my three candles.I cancelled my classes and turned off all the lights.Then I start to sit.For an hour I was totally uncontrollable.My breath was labored but I kept going.I had the most beautiful prayer in years.I had the best conversation with HIM.As I opened my eyes, I saw the sign.Literally, he gave me peace.In utter surrender I was just there.Letting everything go."I MISSED YOU," was all i could say.I have missed him like this.I have missed my maker BIG TIME.

My eyes were swollen as I woke up the next day. I didnt know that the long prayer I had was the beginning of something more.I started to go to meditate the next day until now.I have a great intention to ask.I made a vow to receive him in communion for 9 straight days.This is the third day.

Receiving HIM at the Eucharist is healing.I feel I am brought back to my spiritual journey years ago.He has always been waiting for me to come home to him. I thought I had been with him but I was wrong.He doesnt want me to talk more.He just wants me to be with HIM.I am slowly healed and I am getting there.I am freer again.I am slowly detached from my own ego.I want to be more selfless and He is doing his thing.

I can now write because I am alright.GOD is good all the time.The universe is true to its promise.It is always a relief to come home.I bet it's not easy.

I am grateful for the peace.


Thursday, August 11, 2011

Yes, I'm an Aries


Birth date: 21 March – 20 April
Symbol: The Ram
Birthstone: Diamond
Element: Fire
Ruling planets: Mars
Soul mate: Gemini
Strengths: independent, optimistic, ambitious
Weaknesses: moody, impatient, pushy
Aries is the 1st sign of the zodiac. Aries have a lot of energy. They are strong, athletic, and naturally beautiful. Aries make good friends, because they are honest individuals who are easy to talk to. On the other hand, they can be seen as close-minded. They don’t like to compromise. Arians are known for their creative ideas. They set high goals for themselves and aren’t afraid to take chances. The energy of these risk-takers rubs off on those around them. Don’t tell an Arian that he can’t do something! Like its symbol the ram, an Arian will push his way to the top no matter what it takes. They can sometimes take things too far and become physically aggressive. On the other hand, they get bored easily, and don’t always follow through if things are too easy. They enjoy hunting more than winning.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Nothing much again

I have barely one month before the submission of my paper for the  presentation but at this juncture I still couldn't see anything clearer with regards to my stuff.I feel a sense of resignation.There is just nothing except bits and bits of this and that.

I promise myself not get overwhelmed.I need not get myself sulk and get depressed over a paper thing.Still, the adrenaline is making its way to push me harder to write.It's just awful because I have nothing except bits and bits of this and that....still.

this morning i met another woman for another interview.I was looking for a married one this time but i ended having another single mother.I am still grateful for her though.It's a great meeting after all.

Now, i am not going to play the smart jenny here.Writing something theological is getting a bit exhausting.I will see what transpires each day before i'll hand in something to my mentor.I am resting my case to that HIGHER and WISER force.Inshallah, i will be able to complete what i have started.

Rest well everyone.Have a great weekend,


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Sentimental Moments

The weather has not improved much.The sun is still not up and about.The entire mood is kind of gloomy specially outside.It's a bit depressing, i would say.

My emotions are also challenged for the past few days.I tend to cry easily and I want to withdraw from people.I cried over something from the past.I was haunted by the great memories of a great love.There was no point for me to escape the moment.I have missed the relationship.I have missed the connection.I have missed what we once had.I acknowledged it once again.

The universe has been true to its promise to me. I wasnt left sulking at a corner and get paralyzed by the overwhelming sensation of longing over the person who's long been gone.I was still able to do my thing.I was still able to laugh with a friend while watching a great movie.I was still the same goofy me.

It's funny how something in the past can still get through me even after more than five years.I was contemplating what could have been the scene had i not let go.I had no regrets doing the giving up process.That was the greatest gift I could give him. Setting him free. It was not worth the holding on.It was always right to allow him to spread his wings. I am glad I did that after all the inner conflicts I was battling.

That was so long ago but my 214 has been haunting me BIG TIME.I want to reconnect with him but NO.I dont want to get in the way of whatever life he has at the moment.There are just things in life that are to be given up.It's sublime.

I dont know why I have missed him again.I dont know why I cried copious tears.Still, i felt so victorious knowing I had once met a great love in him.

I am now feeling alright.The weather has finally shown some positive changes.I wonder how he is.Still, life continues for me. I am  grateful for the nostalgia.It reminded me to be back home with him...even for a few moments.

I had once my great love...and it has made a difference in my life till now.