Saturday, September 27, 2014

A journey-day 1

Today marks the beginning of my sister's journey towards healing. In all honesty, my heart is so broken right now. I guess the whole family is broken. My brother, I'm pretty sure is saddened. We all are. We are a family.

I cried bitterly this morning knowing my dear sister was very helpless in her ordeal. I felt like we betrayed her. I  could not do anything more. I am the only one who's distant from them. I am thinking of her now. I miss her terribly. I miss her beautiful self. I am praying that after all these, she would come back stronger. I love her.

I know having moments of  depression is difficult but I am pretty certain her ordeal is far greater than what all lonely people suffer. Delusions are scary at some point. We had no choice but to  let her deal with this seriously.

I just miss her badly. May the Universe heal her. 

Om shanti, shanti.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

A stormy practice, I guess:)

Another storm is going to fall anytime today.It has been, in fact, torrentially raining since yesterday. My vow to practice on a Sunday at the shala (this month) was a bit disturbed as I wasn't that sure whether I'm gonna make it or not. Anyway, I was able to arrive early and settled in my favorite spot. I was ready to practice when I suddenly was distracted by the strong smell of the paint or something. Since I have rhinitis, I am basically very sensitive to fragrance like this.

Everyone was  disturbed. Two practitioners even suspended their practice. The mexican teacher talked to me and I told him I had a difficulty breathing. I wanted to give up the practice too but i still thought, I needed to be there badly.

I frequently sniffed and went out at least once. My head's already heavy. I was thankful I was able to survive. I was humbled as i went on with my asanas. My teacher gave me constructive feedbacks, particularly with my laghu and kappotassana. I am still not that strong. He patiently helped me.

I guess I wasn't paying attention to his instructions for he reminded me of this. I didn't even notice. It always takes one wise teacher to detect. 

I finished my practice. My eyes were teary...until now. My head's heavy. My nose clogged. I had to use my inhaler.

The rain is so overwhelming outside. I am emotional. I am a victim of rhinitis. I  am stormy too. Still, the universe is stronger. I am sure, just like the storm, things will be alright.

keep safe everyone. 

Om shanti, shanti.