Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy new year everyone!2
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
it is eleven twenty five in the morning and im still in MST waiitng for my next review which is unfortunately still in the afternoon.My first review was a short one since Father Lode had to rush to a book launching.He just gave me bits and pieces of what to include in my self-study.I felt a weird feeling though.I felt like a stranger to my own school.Maybe it's because i have not been here for a while after my final exams.I am thankful though i saw my favorite professors and few friends.I hang out with them for a while and now im alone hoping things will be alright in all aspects.
Life has been good to be generally of course.I still have my teaching which is always my lifeline.I still have the opportunity to do what i want to do each day with the people that mean so much to me.Still, there are areas in my life that need to be addressed to.Specifically, I am TIRED.I didnt know when this tiredness began.I just would like to sleep a lot and just want to take some time off away from what i am doing daily.I loathe this feeling but this is really what i am into.
Someone told me lately i need to be happy because he thinks i was not. I was stunned with what he said.i almost cried knowing he cared maybe about my life.I simply told him I can only define my own happiness.Perhaps i have missed something in my life but that doesnt mean i am not happy.I admit i need someone close but there is always a designed time for that.He wants me to cheer up.I really dont know what that means.I am definitely a cheerful girl.He wants me to forget the past.I could not.They're always part of my growth but i'd like to tell him i'm not holding on to it either.I'm glad HE came into my life suddenly.I wish to tell him i'm fine and really doing good.I am just tired.I have been giving off myself to others too much.I need to just recharge.I was so overwhlemed helping others that I forget I still have myself to take care of.
It feels good to be told someone is interested and is serious about me.In my heart of hearts i want so much all these to be real.I am taking my time.There are limitations to the relationship that is going on.Distance is one of them.Constant communication is another.There is the UNIVERSE anyway that would lead us to be together.I just dont want to put pressure to anything.I have been there and done that.I value more than anything trust and honesty.I can only have those when i let go of my selfishness.He already knows what i feel towards him.He told me the same.Let's leave it like that then.i like how it is at the moment.
Going back, i am still tired now but i know there are still more tired people at the moment. My friend just lost his mom and i saw him laughing already.How else will i deny myself of the same opportunity to laugh with him?I did goof up with him today and it felt great.Anyway, I am thinking of going back to my yoga classes.
I need to go out for lunch. Im thinking of having Tofu again.Thanks for reading.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
i want to honor him for being a real online buddy.He was my valentine, my snowman and all.I am hoping he's doing well.I just wish him well.
I said a prayer for him too.I am glad i met someone like him.Despite the distance, the time difference and all, we had a friendship that stayed longer than expected.I am certain he remembers and thinks of me.I know he doesnt like to leave like that again...but i know too, he's got his reasons.Aside from the fact that he hasnt any computer of his own, he also keeps on travelling to places due to work.I do want him to be happy.I dont want him sad anymore.He's been through a lot before.I am just happy i was able to share that friendship...and i will remain a friend forever.
He is Darren...and yes, he is my tall british friend.
Should he read this...I want him to know i'm so grateful for the friendship and i am hoping the universe will make our paths cross again someday.after all, it's rare to have someone like him..a true friend.a gem.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
.....in time, i'll get by but right now, i am aware this is what and where i am.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I do feel tired lately.it all started when i had a misunderstanding with my brother.come to think of it, it was simply a common rift between siblings who were just trying to be more giving to the needs of other family member.i actually regretted the thought of exchanging unpleasant words with him.i knew we're both sorry.he did call my sister and told her he was sorry for his actuations.it really didnt matter who was at fault.i was just not so happy that we had to be like that.i miss him of course.
there is also this strange feeling in my heart that neither words nor actions can explain.I just am happy with the thought that someone shows kindness to me.it's too good to be true but i'm beginning to love the fact that we're communicating.i'll just live things like this and see where the conversation will lead us.
Monday, November 2, 2009
It was very clear to me that our professor was reminding us once more of the depletion of our ozone layer, the denuding of our forests, of global warming and the constant destruction of our ecosytem.With the advancement on science and technology, we basically exercise almost all the control over nature.This is called the instrumental cause.Because of our inordinate desire for power and domination, we tend to neglect the very essence of living and our moral obligation to really take care of mother nature.Our decisions most often than not are geared not really towards ecological balance but towards disharmony.I am not exempted from this error.Another cause for this crisis, is an ideological one which motivates or gives legitimacy to the desire to become masters over nature which then has led to the abuse and destruction of our natural resources.
It took me two days before I finally saw my own home.I was crying because of fatigue and depression after seing the entire scenario.It was so hearbreaking.More than that, I also felt sad that I had not done much to help.Until now, I am full of disappointment and even guilt.I am always part of the blame.Every single misery that ONDOY and even PEPING had inflicted on the humanity is for me a painful reminder of how we made nature bled so much.Being a member of GREEN PEACE I am more determined to make a stand about issues that gravely concern this world.I want so much to live in a world where there are still a lot of trees all around us.I want that my children and their children will enjoy what they deserve to have....A HEALTHY WORLD.
I am so grateful for the whole semester with you Father.Your passion has always inspired me to be a better Christian.I have learned so much from you.MY heart and my mind until now are still on the process of recovering after seing for the first time the terrible effect of the recent calamity.I am assuring you though that I would continue to be better in my being a Christian specially in my quest to help make this world more safe and liveable.
More power Father and keep on touching lives.