Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year

After so long a time, I must say this is the most peaceful year ender for me.Though I am alone, I am still able to be productive. I was able to talk to my parents and asked for forgiveness . I have written some details in my thesis. I have laughed hard and more than anything else I have made peace .

I don't make any resolutions anymore. I just live each day as if it's my last. Even if I am scared as to my PMS thing,I guess I will be fine.

I am looking forward for more yogic experience . I am also getting excited for my thesis and hopefully graduation.

What else is there? I am going to keep being open to the leading of energies.

I am glad I end the year right. Tomorrow will take it's place.

Taking time.


Friday, December 30, 2011

Hello sun

I woke up earlier today to go to the public market. I decided to walk as I felt it a need . I have missed my early morning walks already. Since I did yoga, my moments with the sun and the fresh ground have been less.

Anyway, as I was heading to the market I couldn't help but be awed at the great sunrise. It was as if the sun told me something of great importance. It's the new year very soon and with it comes the bright shining ray of hope for a better and more productive year.

I am still certainly going to be alone this new year's eve. More prayers and reflections will happen, for sure.

I wish everyone a sun shiny day and year ahead.


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Alone on christmas

I have only Santa with me this Christmas. I guess it's better this way than causing more pains to my kin.

Despite life's brokenness, I'm wishing everyone a blessed Christmas.


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Christmas radical thoughts

It's Christmas tomorrow and what does this self believe?
Well, I am not gonna lie that I am becoming less appreciative of this tradition. My childlike excitement vanishes at some point . There are less , if not, zero wishes for myself.
Life is cheap specially that my beloved hometown has been terribly hit by nature's wrath. My family is alright but there is a strain that affects my connection with them. All because of this perennial woman thing , maybe.
I will certainly stay in my pad the whole time, unless of course , there's a viable invitation. There will be less to eat. I just wish i could give more.
This self has become more radical in the way Christmas is celebrated. As I age and become more independent, there appear better options than lavish spending .

I woke up today after having great dreams. They sufficed what I missed and longed for.

I called them saving grace.

I still wish everyone a great and blessed Christmas. May you have peace!


Saturday, December 17, 2011

Sad news

Today, I had a blast.from having a great practice and a great movie then the traffic that's sickening ...
What's highlighting this day is the terrible advent of the typhoon that hit my hometown Big Time. I am glad my family's alright despite the odds but my heart breaks seeing the horrendous aftermath of the disaster. My hometown has been trending today. The urge to go home is very strong.I don't know what awaits me but I am hoping for the best. I pray everyone gets healed from this. I know how it is. Been there...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

An intense morning

I was supposed to go to the Shala today but the heaviness that I felt both physical and emotional, not to mention spiritual, moved me to gather my mat downstairs and confronted myself again and my Maker , of course. It was my longest cry since I dont know when. It was such a painful encounter of my vulnerabilities again. I must say it wasn't the first time. Certainly,self scolding happens every now and then. Humanity with all it's frailties should be dealt with for life.

Broken, humbled, waiting, hopeful...
These exactly describe that encounter on my mat. I called Him my Maker, Energy , Force ... I was totally there just letting things go.

It was a cleansing and therapeutic immersion. This self is now revived.

Just look at the smile. Thank you Lord, always .

Random thoughts today

So I almost forgot it's the holiday season once again. What have I done so far to prepare myself to the coming of the messiah ? I need to say I am becoming His prodigal daughter again. What then shall I do to make this season truly a joyous one? I honestly don't know anymore for now. In all aspects I am lacking . More importantly, I feel unworthy to receive him. I lack everything. This Christmas I just truly want to renew the zest for my life in all aspects. My spirit is dampened but I'm sure there is growth even in the driest of land. Somewhere there is life. I believe so.

Monday, December 12, 2011


My desk reflects the state of mind this mortal has. I am trying to put ideas into their right perspective but most often than not I simply can't. I have barely 3 months more prior to my defense. May the Lord of wisdom grant me what I need to finish this writing.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Life is still sweet, you know

Lunch today was a sweet one. I had my favorite blueberry muffin and donut. I was trying to put things in perspective , my wandering mind specially . 'tis the season to be jolly , they say.I'm taking my time. I maybe consumed by some things , I'm pretty sure once emptied I will be renewed again. After all,life is still sweet, you know.

About to sink...

Like the moon which periodically appears, my life is not spared from the rise and fall of energy. My mind is equally wandering most of the time.worries here and there are stuff that cause me sleepless nights. Emotions fluctuate too. Oh dear Santa, please grant me peace this Christmas season.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

It's the first of December

Christmas is just around the corner is what the old adage would say. I dont really know what would make this christmas different from all the other christmases that i had. I still dont have my ticket for my vacation at home.In fact i dont still know if ill go home. I am becoming too independent that i dont think id ever feel lonely if id spend christmas alone.

Stll, i believe I need to go back and be with my folks. I am still a member of a family and I have an obligation as a daughter to honor my parents despite and inspite of. I still have friends in my hometown and there are still few reasons for me to go back.

Life as it is ...Christmas as it is. Looking forward.