Saturday, March 31, 2012

Random thoughts/feelings

The whole week has been a deep struggle for me. I felt that there was an endless tunnel somewhere within me that I couldnt even see where I would be going. My mind has been working much. The thoughts that I created were a series of worries, anxieties, fears and all that. I was so haunted with what if's .It was funny because at the back of of my mind is a constant struggle to be at the center of it all. No amount of silence could really help me unfasten that cord that has strangled my brain. At one point, I just wanted to cry to still believe I am actually living.
This morning's practice has somehow allowed me to  recollect my self. I must admit that  I was so indisposed during the early part of my practice. I couldnt help but utter a prayer asking the universe to help me. I was grateful He did.
Lunch with my three fellow yogins was an avenue for me to share great energy. I love the range of the conversation mixed with laughter and good food. It was nice being with them. I have never imagined I would be this comfortable with people whom I thought were a way too advance in their practice . No pretensions, No stress.Just simply sharing of souls. Ahhh, this is yoga.
I have concerns regarding finances and my defense. I have worries about my work bUt right at this moment I just would like to savor the BLiss that I have. This is exactly what makes my life different. I am glad for the capacity to survive. Perhaps tomorrow I would be worried again but just like  each asana, I would certainly overcome everything and emerge a much freerer soul. This is yoga.
At 8:30 tonight will be the Earth hour. I am going to join the whole world celebrate Earth's rebirth by switching off my lights even for an hour.Join me in this.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


The TV is on. I have been hooked with some great shows on this so called idiot board. I guess it's all just an understatement. What is there to do while trying to live my day in solitude?
My classes start in the afternoon and I am not anymore writing my thesis as I am scheduled to defend it soon. (I wish, this will be over.!) I am feeling so unchallenged. I am getting the hype of boredom. Dear God, I am just wanting to soar.
My breathe isnt steady at times. It means I am not relaxed generally. I want to do my asanas at home but I end up weaken. The energy is just waning. I am going to the shala tomorrow, hopefully.
I have been a  very laidback fo a while now. I want to switch gear. I am really demotivated.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

What's up Jenny?


"Life is a roller coaster ride."

And so this old adage says it all.

Fleeting.Unsure.Uncertain. Rocky.Hilly. Dark.Scary.Hopeless.Tensed.Anxious. Questioning.

Sound familiar?

I am made of this and I have been made of this for a while now. A tarot reader has told me once that my life is generally good but I am encountering a conflict within and it will last for while. He assured me too that the end of the cycle is a great one.

I am not in any position to complain anymore because I have already accepted the fact that I am on a great spiritual journey. I have been wanting meaning in all that I am doing even the very thing I call chores. I am able to question whether or not my thesis defense is still meaningful to me or should i just tell my mentor i'd like to be given a 2 and not defend my paper. I may sound silly but in my mind now are simply different thoughts about life.

I wake up each day not exactly knowing what to do. I am finding another greater challenge but I seem not to know what is it yet. I am so wanting to go back to teach in school hoping this would give me the chance to be with my first love again. I am bent on finding my mate feeling that perhaps I would be more complete.

At the end of my introspection though, there is only one thing that comes across my mind. PATIENCE!

There is always a time to rest. To back off. To feel pain.To feel hopeless.To feel unsure. To feel unloved and alone. ..but hey, these too shall pass, right?

Victory comes to those who endure. I know certainly that I am trodding a different path and my spiritual quest is still on going.


Sunday, March 18, 2012

Sunday lunch


Wanted something fresh, healthy and I opted for this Kani salad from Tokyo tokyo.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Blessed day

He is always the God of  timing. When I was  about to fall He held his outstretched  hand for me through unexpected people.
When I am about to lose hope,  He shed light and allowed to me to see what's beyond sorrow.
When all seemed bleak within me and I was almost numb, He let me cry and be in touch with my vulnerability. My humanity surfaced and it was then that I realized once more that  He indeed knew what He's all about.
It's a blessed Wednesday and I cried with joy. I am so glad for this God who's always true.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

i want it laidback


There is always the serene charm attached to what we call "vintage." The chaotic Manila life is sometimes toxic. It is an understatement perhaps for there are many circumstances when  the urban culture eats up the  life that  was.. slow, relax, laidback.


Sunday, March 11, 2012



 the bigger picture of life is always all about going back to where it all started. simplicity, purity, contentment, peace, love, bliss.

as i continue trodding my path, there is always that gnawing urge to go back to the simplicity of my journey. in the midst of  fretting to meet the day's task, i am still longing to sit still in awe as the universe's simplest manifestation is unfolded before me.

I may age and move forward and go along with the process called living but I am always certain, there is within me that constant childlike candor that would keep reminding me that there is no reason to be anxious about anything. Nature has its own pace and what better way it is  to live in this world than to harmonize with it.

I dont want to be trapped in a rat race world. I am not made to compete. I believe I am here to enjoy life accordingly.

Everything works perfectly time.






Life is simple and pure.


Monday, March 5, 2012

Life as I call it now


‎"There's no point sitting here, using words that mean nothing. Go and experiment. It's time you got out of here. Go and re-conquer your kingdom, which has grown corrupted by routine. Stop repeating the same lesson, because you won't learn anything new that way." (my master to me, in ALEPH)
Life has bored me at times. Something's speaking within telling me to go out and do something extra ordinary.The aries spirit whispers that urge to fly up there. My warlike nature is wanting to plunge into life's greatest adventures. Still, I am held by the energy that balances my nature.
There is danger in overdoing things and yes I have always believed that. I dont want to call it playing safe but there is wisdom in taking time..taking slow..even if it means getting impatient and anxious.
The routine is almost eating me up. I see the need to redirect the course of things. I am calling the Universe to lead me because I know it is a much more powerful entity.
I want change again. I am taking about BIG CHange yet who am I to defeat the natural flow of things. I am called right now to be steady , to be  still and  to wait.
The lesson of patience is grand, I need to wait even it means feeling desolate at times. The essence of learning isnt easy.
I still need to sit, my master. I still have  to wait. I guess I will reap a good harvest by doing this.
Ahhhh, Here's to patience,

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Cousins' Visit


Meet Maya and Logan. The tiny angels from the United Kingdom.They're here for their vacation and spent a night with me before heading off to their mom's hometown.


Cousins' Visit

Meet Maya and Logan. The tiny angels from the United Kingdom.They're here for their vacation and spent a night with me before heading off to their mom's hometown.