Last of June

I was supposed to practice today but for some reasons I didnt. Actually, I felt a bit hesitant thinking i 'll be weaker with some poses. My competitive self is taking the limelight. I know I  should not think about not being good enough with my practice as this is not what yoga is. Last night i kept on dreaming about being at the shala ..being with the yogins and all.

This morning, I should have been there but my ego sets in. I am here instead, laidback, thinking, doing stuff i should not have done.

I am here trying to reconnect with my imperfect self. Tired maybe, but still conscious I did a few not so good choices this last day of May.

I'm still glad I'm  here. Pensive. Collected.

randomness on a friday

My acidity is getting hyped up. I feel tired having this ordeal but i have no choice but deal with the pain  as i am also responsible  for its recurrence.

Life has been frenetic for me this summer and i guess it will be like this from hereon since it will be school time again very soon.

I do wish to rest longer. Like going to the beach or the mountains. ( please universe, let me.)

Anyway, more than anything else i need to practice more. I miss so much my mat, the shalas and my like minds.

Namaste!

Thoughts ....

Christology class with father Lode Wostyn, cicm

We have just ended our summer classes in the very tedious PhD in theology. I feel a deep sense of relief knowing at last after more than a month i can get back the normalcy that I have so missed. I am happy being laid back again (at least for a few days). My house is wanting the care it deserves also and I have to say I have tons of laundry already. (Ohh, I am glad I did the cleaning and the washing this morning on the second day of my period, huh!)

So what have I exactly gotten from my theological wrangling? I am not actually that happy realizing that the language is not just really something I am very interested about. My heart is not that whole in this particular endeavor. I know where I want to go and at this juncture...I must say,I am not made to be a theologian in the real sense of the word.

I may still get some subjects come opening of the school year but it does not necessarily mean I will die for this. My practice has been sacrificed already and my peace of mind has been affected. I am not a scholar.I am a spiritual human being.

I love my professors, specially the very wise Father Lode. More than anything else, I love my classmates and they are one  of the very few reasons I might continue this  but I already know what I actually want. I am just waiting for the right timing. I just want to deepen my practice. I just want to live a stress-free life. Slow..gentle.calm..happy life.

my Father Lode:)

                                      

                                                   Namaste everyone.Embrace your peace.