Friday, March 26, 2010

remembering JC....

He came with his mom inside the church while we were listening to the eulogies.I waved at them and they smiled back.I was glad.despite my being tired i was invigorated.while the coffin was led outside i went to their place and thanked them for was my first time to talk to his mom. she was so kind and friendly.we talked like we're good friends way back.Jay and i talked about what happened.I had to leave after a while to be at the burial site.While walking, Father asked me to get the holy water from the church.I went back to get it when i saw him following inside.We held hands and we talked for awhile.He had to be with the team and i had to hurry back to the site.He was there until the body was buried.I saw him whereever my eyes were looking.I kept thinking perhaps i would not have the chance to see him in a long time.There will be no more family days to attend to for us.I am beginning to miss him but at the same time glad he came when i needed to be alright.He was such a breathe of fresh air.His mom approached us and wished my friend well.she thanked me.we hugged and kissed.he didnt say goodbye though.i saw him went back to their car.we went on with our business at the site.i felt better.i went home so tired from all that transpired for days.until now i still feel so sleepy but im getting body just wants attention and i need to listen to it.i still think of him and that so grateful he's part of my journey with the center.he may not have known it but he's always made my day everytime i was there and supporting my friend.perhaps he wont know it.still, im glad he really came.

I have been thinking about him for the past couple of days.I was brought to the times when we we first met and the conversations i entertained the thoughts of him, i felt glad knowing that i never did expect that we would have those my heart of hearts, i believe we both wished we could have more time outside those meetings...time when he would be more ready to be in the world where he's supposed to be...i was slightly hoping i would meet him somewhere and really talk over a cup of coffee or perhaps have dinner together.i could still imagine his expression when he told me the first time that he would go out and concentrate on their family business.he was so thrilled that time.i was happy he took time to tell me that.I was always happy when i was with him.the last time i saw him, we held hands and he consoled me.i was hoping he would be alright really ...yet this afternoon, i heard a sad news.he suffered a backtrack.i dont know how to react.i pretended that i was not affected but my heart would like to scream.i wanted to see him.I could only pray he would be alright just like what he was wishing to happen.i wanted to hold his hands and just tell him to fight again to survive.gees, i had no way of telling him that i care about still hoping though that the universe would allow me to see him again...just to see him ..perhaps, things would be different

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