Tuesday, August 16, 2011
a gift..once more
The sun has been smiling at me since I woke up this morning.It was not the case two weeks ago.I was down and trapped within me.I felt squeezed hard like a sponge and I thought I would not be able to get back in shape.I had a tremendous first two weeks of August.I didnt even know it was coming.My intuitive friend had read me right.All i had were anger, jealousy, confusion, fear, impatience.I didnt even know where in the world I would go.It was a very hard battle.There wasnt any more faith in me.I had only yoga to save my day.I was the totally lost JENNY.For two weeks I was trying to survive.I was still doing what I had to do.During moments of aloneness, I was helpless...then...
On a Sunday evening I decided to light my three candles.I cancelled my classes and turned off all the lights.Then I start to sit.For an hour I was totally uncontrollable.My breath was labored but I kept going.I had the most beautiful prayer in years.I had the best conversation with HIM.As I opened my eyes, I saw the sign.Literally, he gave me peace.In utter surrender I was just there.Letting everything go."I MISSED YOU," was all i could say.I have missed him like this.I have missed my maker BIG TIME.
My eyes were swollen as I woke up the next day. I didnt know that the long prayer I had was the beginning of something more.I started to go to meditate the next day until now.I have a great intention to ask.I made a vow to receive him in communion for 9 straight days.This is the third day.
Receiving HIM at the Eucharist is healing.I feel I am brought back to my spiritual journey years ago.He has always been waiting for me to come home to him. I thought I had been with him but I was wrong.He doesnt want me to talk more.He just wants me to be with HIM.I am slowly healed and I am getting there.I am freer again.I am slowly detached from my own ego.I want to be more selfless and He is doing his thing.
I can now write because I am alright.GOD is good all the time.The universe is true to its promise.It is always a relief to come home.I bet it's not easy.
I am grateful for the peace.