6 days with Teacher Mo

Photo grabbed from https://www.facebook.com/groups/1380430552272324/

                         
Life has been colorful for me this May. Aside from my everyday home practice, I subscribed for a 6-day mysore class with Teacher Mo at Beyond Yoga Libis. It was a great practice with him aside from the fact that the heat actually became my ally as it literally detoxified me.

I felt like a newbie in the shala though I had spent few days having self-practice there. It seemed a bit strange that I was practicing with mostly new set of ashtangis under the tutelage of a new teacher, at least for me. I was grateful that as the days went by, I was feeling more at home with my new space and fellow practitioners.

Generally, my 6 days with the teacher has been fruitful. I love how he made his adjustments on the poses. His presence was very commanding but gentle. One thing I noticed though was his being traditional in his approach. He would instill in us really the right way to do the pose and he would tend to get cute and funny when he reprimands those that defied traditions. I was honestly a bit scared doing other poses in the intermediate series as I was thinking he might give me such a hard time repeating them. Anyway, he was actually nice to me. I loved it when he respected my plea to be gentle doing the deep  backbends because of my scoliosis.

Of course, bakasana was a bit heavy for me as I was being disoriented as to how to do it. I guess that was where I stopped my practice with him. 

Today, I told him it was my last day. I thanked and hugged him because I was/am really very grateful. His energy was contagious and I would certainly miss his big voice while checking on us. 

The six days were really significant because I had the chance to meet other practitioners and shared the energies with them. I would surely miss taking the jeepney going to the shala but I have to move on and bring with me the things I learned from teacher Mo in my daily practice,

Someday, I will have more teachers to practice with but in my heart, I am very grateful that another good teacher has come into my life. Thanks Teacher Mo.

Namaste!

The Natural Push & Pull of True Awakening: Richard Freeman on Yoga

This is such a very subtle,laidback and unassuming take on how yoga can do a lot of wonders to anyone practicing it regularly. Richard Freeman said it all in a way that I am  in total agreement. Yes, it is only when we love others that will we become happy. I know from my own experience that there is always joy in helping those who need our help. Compassion is eternally something that we can offer to humanity. It is of course not easy but with constant practice of being sensitive to the other people's  plight, I guess one gets to connect. I love the reminder that yoga is all about linking.


We are all connected. Every tiny sensient being is directly connected with us and to us. Respect and acceptance then are important.



Namaste. Thanks for this dear teacher Richard.

Boredom and what it has done to me

It has been days since that poweful moon lit the entire hemisphere and it is still waning, I am still also experiencing my own moonday moments. I am literally bored these past few days. Certainly, this is not the first time I experience this boredom syndrome. Just like any active human being, time always gives me moments when I just wanted to literally STOP!

I practice everyday at home since I don't have any regular teacher on the weekdays. I like the feeling that my room has become my shala again. It is hot indeed so i opt to slice up my practice so as not to experience exhaustion. Room temperature in the morning is already "hellish."

My mind is empty for the most part of the day as I tend to be very conscious of my breathing but believe me---when you are at home for the whole day almost always there will be that tiny demons that will haunt you. And yes! I have mine too. 

I often stop to  think as to  where I am going. I have the dislike of going back to teach at the university. I simply want out and just be that free spirited being who will not be worried about the travel, requirements and expectations of people. I am less interested to teach Theology. 

My mind is filled with the desire of doing yoga more. I want to deepen my practice. I long to go somewhere and get myself taught by a spiritual teacher at least for a month. 

There is also the lingering thought of travelling and putting up my own business. I just have so much in my head.

Then I start to get worked up and bored about my state and it has become a dreadful state. Because of boredom, I also entertain thoughts and acts which are both sexual and sensual. Surprisingly, I am not feeling guilty or some sort. I just really don't like what's going on.

Then my bored self just got a little moment of epiphany today. After a good practice and a few chores at home, I started reading the book which I have bought some months ago. It's Donna Farhi's Yoga Mind, Body and Spirit. I just read her own take on the the the living principles of yoga and I feel like not going to stop. 

The Yamas and Niyamas which are the first among the ten provide me the chance to reflect on where I am in my living the yogic kind of life. I am slowly reminded about what matters to me in life and whether or not my life at the moment is what really makes me happy. My heart and my mind both are hooked because I know I am here at this stage because there is a reason. I need to undergo this journey of purification. 

The Yamas which are the wise characteristics for one to live a free life includes the following precepts:

1. Ahimsa-compassion for all living things

2. Satya- commitment to the truth

3. Asteya- Not stealing

4. Brahmacharya- merging with the One

5. Aparigaha- not grasping

The Niyamas on the other hand are the codes to live Soulfully. In includes:

1. Shaucha-purity

2. Santosha-Contentment

3. Tapas-Burning Enthusiasm

4. Swadhyaya-Self-study

5.Ishvarapranidhana- Celebration of the Spiritual

I am not yet done reading the precepts but one thing I know, I am bent to do a lot of growing up to do. After all, gold is always tested by/through fire.

The boredom that I have at the moment is not a mistake at all. I just need to find that spark once more to live the way  I should. Everything in life is perfected through practice. I am beginning to practice now.

Om shanti, shanti.

Anyung, Sally

Non-attachment is easier said than done specially if one gets to be with the person for a long time. Still, at the end of the day letting go is the best option.

I am emotional right now and I must confess I have already started crying earlier today upon learning that my online student, Sally, will have her last class with me tomorrow. With all my heart, I do love this girl and I am terribly missing her now even if I knew I will still talk to her tonight and     tomorrow.

Sally started with me some 4 years ago. She was in her elementary years that time and she had a bit of awkward first few moments with me. It was understandable as she was was not yet very comfortable with me and the English language. 

That was history then because Sally has grown so much. She has become more confident using English even if at times it may sound cute and funny. The most important thing is she can communicate. I have witnessed her growth. Despite the virtual class that we have everyday, I know we have embraced each other importantly.

She needs to focus on her schooling. As we all know, Korean education is tough and Sally is going to be in high school soon. My God, my heart is aching as I am writing this. The thought of not going to skype her everyday hurts so much. This is just very hard right now.

I will forever remember her because she has really made my life more beautiful. She just is an angel to me. I want to hug her tight. This is painful, really. Well, all goodbyes are.

I am glad I have been given the five long years to journey with her and with that I am forever grateful.

Sally, Saranghe. Till we meet again.

Nate Ruess: Nothing Without Love [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

I must say this is LOVE! This guy can really hit notes like no other. This song is a tender reminder that life without love is nothing. Going beyond, loving may not only mean that romantic thing you have with someone but more than anything else it speaks of love that is beyond being a romantic. Love is love because that is what we all come here for. Without us giving and receiving this, our stay in this lovely world is one futile journey.

Happy watching. Thanks Nate for this.

Namaste!

on yoga and friendship

I survived 4 straight days of practice at the shala with teacher arne. This is something I rarely do for the almost 5 years of my ashtanga journey. Perhaps I am more ready to embrace all that I need to hurdle in this spiritual path. Everything is just coming as naturally as possible. One thing I appreciate about this week's encounter is that I am becoming more aware of what's gotten into me in almost all aspects of my being.

My good fear of being with this mexican yogi again slowly vanished as I am getting more aware of the kind of person that he is. I am beginning to let go of my delusions that hardcore teachers aren't humans in the real sense of the word. I am also able to extend and expand my circle of likeminds as I am beginning to embrace more practitioners whom I have not been practicing with before. 

Today is a revelation.The universe has always its own ways of bringing me to the path that I don't even expect I would be taking. Sharing meals with fellow yogins after the practice is always an exciting feat for me. What makes this day more beautiful is the fact that i get to spend quality time with teacher arne and james (another authorized teacher). 

Laughing and sharing insights and stories about yoga and life simply made this day worth remembering. I love how candid everything was. I am honoring the universe for bringing to me people that I really love to hang out with. I am glad I did not give up the practice. I am happy for choosing experience over things. 

I don't know what is beyond or before me but I know what  I need to do this summer and that is to simply live for the moment. I also need to rest more and think less. I need to practice more.

Right now,my eyes are tired and my body's wanting rest. Still, my heart is ecstatic for the accomplishment I have. I love yoga and i love my community.

Namaste everyone.

Hello 2015

It has been 3 days since I entered another year. I still have been overwhelmed knowing that I am going to be a year older also come three months. Life really is going fast without my noticing it.

The first three days so far has been good to me. Despite my PMS, i am more emotionally sane and relaxed. My energy has been calmer. I am grateful.

There are few thoughts that linger in my head too. I wish to share with you that..

   1. I'd like to be richer this year. This is not because I want all the material comforts in this world but it is because I want to help more my family and other people.

   2. I'd also like to travel more-both here and abroad.

   3. I'd like to teach English more and leave Theology eventually. I want to teach the languages and literature and I want to write.

  4. I want to marry and I will with my spiritual man.

  5. I want to practice more and get myself certified to teach ashtanga.

  6. I want to meditate more, constantly, consistently, effortlessly. 

  7. I want to always be me.I won't let people and events control me.

  8. I will bend but I will not break.

  9. I will keep loving my family in my own way.

  10. I will be forever grateful-in my heart and in my mind,

May the Universe bless me. Om shanti, shanti.

The Best of Me ..My favorite quotes

I decided to watch this film today after having some doubts. You see, I am still not centered up till now  and most of all, my emotions are way too low.  Blame it to PMS:) Anyway, after church, I purchased my ticket and with my favorite pop corn and a bottle of water, I went inside the cinema 15 minutes early. See, that's how punctual I am.

The movie was good. It has made me recall fond memories of people who were with me at some points in my life. The idea of loving someone for so long a time is really not an illusion after  all. Even if you won't end up being with that person anymore, love is still valid. There is never any limit to loving. Indeed, when you meet the right person, the best of you surfaces. I know it.:)

These are some good quotes I love bringing with me through life. There is so much wisdom, pain, joy and love in here.  Take time. 

1. “That's why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like toss starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn't constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered-- not my family or your family or anyone else in the world. It was just us.” 

2. “Don't take my advice. Or anyone's advice. Trust yourself. For good or for bad, happy or unhappy, it's your life, and what you do with it has always been entirely up to you.” 

3. “Life was messy. Always had been and always would be and that was just the way it was, so why bother complaining? You either did something about it or you didn’t, and then you lived with the choice you made.” 

4. “I don't know that I've ever felt as happy as I did that day, but then again, it was always like that when we were together. I never wanted it to end.” 

5.“You'll make mistakes and struggle like everyone, but when you are with the right person, you'll almost perfect joy, like you are the luckiest person who ever lived. And that means you'll love and be loved...and in the end, nothing else really matters.”  


 ( all quotes taken from http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/15677976-the-best-of-me)

Stay in love.Namaste!

Thanks Mama

                                 

This Mother's day, let me honor once again a woman who has been there for us and with us no matter what the circumstances are. She has never wavered  in supporting us in her very own special way. Despite all the hurts that we cause her, she's withstood them all and her strength is beyond compare. She may not be that gentle in dealing with us but she is that. She demonstrates her love for us in the way that she knows best. WE may question her, fight with her, agree with her and be indifferent with her but she in the end is very willing to accept and forgive us.

Thank you Mama. I know I will not be a mother like you so I will never understand the wisdom of the way you deal with the family. I admire you so much and I'm sorry for hurting you.

I love you mama. Take care always.

Just saying..

Today is the last day of 2013 in school. I am looking forward to be home this saturday. I don't know what awaits during the holidays but one thing is certain though, i will be home.

While i was at the bus this morning, i allowed my thoughts to look back at the past. I wanted to feel that magic of love to someone who felt the same way. It was good being there... from the very beginning until my heart could not anymore contain the joy. That was the purest,the sweetest, the loveliest. I stopped my thoughts with a sigh knowing that it was then. I long to feel the same way. I long to have a man like him. 

I have grown now and i am still grateful about that love. I am grateful for that man. 

Namaste lovely souls.

Richard and Amy

Yesterday,  as I was with the whole university community for a recollection, my dear student Richard sent me identical messages telling me he's tired of crying. He told me his wife of more than two months died and that the pain was just too much.

It was a numbing experience for me because the first thing that came  to my mind was to see him and just hug him but I couldn't. It was so sudden and I haven't had any inkling that his young wife was sick.I found time to go out of the session hall and called him.That was the first time I heard him so vulnerable.He was crying still and I really could not say anything more than just asking him what else can I do for him.

Richard is 22 and I guess his wife was 26. Theirs was an arranged marriage but it was a blessed one.He has started loving  her since then.

This young gentleman has shared a part of his journey with me even until the semester ended. I am thankful that I was one of those he had trusted of his decision making..his dilemnas, his growth as married man. More than anything else, we are not just into a teacher-student relationship but we are friends.

With the sudden death of his wife, I cant imagine the pains that he's into. A more than two-month old  union  which was so full of hope and promises for a great future just ended like that.  At 22, and is still beginning to understand what loving beyond love is, I could not envision how he would cope with the loss. Yet, because he's got a strong back up from HIS GOD, there is also no doubt that he would survive and would become a better man.

We had thoughts of meeting together with his wife but I guess it wont happen anymore. All i would have would be more lovely stories about her from a husband who's now bereft of a great loving woman. As I write this, there is heaviness in my heart.

I wish I could visit the wake and if I couldn't the UNIVERSE will certainly bring them my prayers for comfort.

Death is a physical parting, I believe so. It is breaking people's hearts, yes. It is going to be a foe for a while but in the long run too, death will serve as a reminder that this is not our home here and we don't actually own the people we care about. It will allow us then to give what we can to those around while we can. We don't know the hour it will take us but death...is just here.

We need therefore to love beyond love just like what the young wife Amy did to Richard. It is all that matters in life.

I just wish I were as sublime as her. May she rest in peace and I am grateful to her to come into my dear student's life.

Namaste everyone.Let's take care of people we are with.

Phillip Phillips - Volcano

This is an out of this world performance of my favorite American Idol contestant this season. I haven't actually heard the song before but with Phillip's rendition it seemed like I have been listening to  it  the  whole time. I love the sensitivity he has attached to his performance and to quote Jlo, it was just "poignant."

More than this piece of art, Phil Phillips has always been awesome. His voice speaks so much of his passion for music. I love his unique and youthful radicalism. His fearlessness has added up to his charm. Just like my previous favorites, I am very certain this guy will  go places.

He's now making it to the top 3 and whatever happens, he is my American Idol for this year. Need i say more? :)

Sail on Phil Phillips. You're doing a very great job!

WARRIOR OF THE LIGHT

                                          


I am still on my spiritual semi retreat.It has been my fifth day of receiving HIM at the Eucharist and I am very glad I am doing it.There are still distractions each day but i am more conscious of my  weaknesses and surrendering to HIM is all I can do.

Part of my journey is reading Paulo Coelho's Warrior of the Light.It is a book that chronicles his notes on accepting failures, embracing life and rising to destiny.

Here's some of his thoughts.

Every Warrior of the Light has felt afraid of going into battle.
Every Warrior of the Light has at some time in the past, lied and betrayed someone.
Every Warrior of the Light has trodden a path that was not his.
Every Warrior of the Light has suffered for the most trivial reasons.
Every Warrior of the Light has, at least once, believed that he was not a Warrior of the Light.
Every Warrior of the Light has failed in his spiritual duties.
Every Warrior of the Light has said "yes" when he wanted to say "no."
Every Warrior of the Light has hurt someone he loved.


That is why he is a Warrior of the Light because he has been through all this and yet has never lost hope of being better than he is.

I am this Warrior of the Light and I won't give up until I am victorious. My life's  battles have taught me this.

Namaste, fellow Warriors of the Light.

Sentimental Moments

The weather has not improved much.The sun is still not up and about.The entire mood is kind of gloomy specially outside.It's a bit depressing, i would say.


My emotions are also challenged for the past few days.I tend to cry easily and I want to withdraw from people.I cried over something from the past.I was haunted by the great memories of a great love.There was no point for me to escape the moment.I have missed the relationship.I have missed the connection.I have missed what we once had.I acknowledged it once again.


The universe has been true to its promise to me. I wasnt left sulking at a corner and get paralyzed by the overwhelming sensation of longing over the person who's long been gone.I was still able to do my thing.I was still able to laugh with a friend while watching a great movie.I was still the same goofy me.


It's funny how something in the past can still get through me even after more than five years.I was contemplating what could have been the scene had i not let go.I had no regrets doing the giving up process.That was the greatest gift I could give him. Setting him free. It was not worth the holding on.It was always right to allow him to spread his wings. I am glad I did that after all the inner conflicts I was battling.


That was so long ago but my 214 has been haunting me BIG TIME.I want to reconnect with him but NO.I dont want to get in the way of whatever life he has at the moment.There are just things in life that are to be given up.It's sublime.


I dont know why I have missed him again.I dont know why I cried copious tears.Still, i felt so victorious knowing I had once met a great love in him.


I am now feeling alright.The weather has finally shown some positive changes.I wonder how he is.Still, life continues for me. I am  grateful for the nostalgia.It reminded me to be back home with him...even for a few moments.


I had once my great love...and it has made a difference in my life till now.

MY PAPA

I have lived a very independent life for a while now.I have done things on my own. This means that I have made right and wrong decisions and I put all the blame on me for whatever messy consequences I am getting from these choices. I have made myself into the person I want to be..all because of me but wait...

I wouldnt have been here without the guidance of two very important people who are given to me as  my caretakers as I journey through this LIFE.These people are very imperfect ones, just like anybody else.Despite their flaws, they have managed to bring me and my siblings up, in good and bad times.MY MOM and MY DAD are the very first persons who happened to deal patiently with my all.

I have grown feeling that I am closer to my dad than to my mom.Since mom is more of a domisticated kind of woman, it is always dad who would take time to spend hours with me and my siblings telling all those humorous stories taken from I know not where sources.There is always laughter in the house.There are always good lectures from different areas each time.Dad is always the great storyteller.He always exudes that passion.I have taken mine after him.

He is a great teacher.There is no question about that.I admire his work ethics and his principles in life.He does not bend to a crooked system.He fights for it.He says his piece even if everybody will hate him after.He knows what's right and does it...It took him a while to quit smoking though.

I find strength in him.His passion for music is overwhelming,Music actually is what makes our family harmonize. This serves is our link.I have missed the days when all we could do was just sing.

Today I would like to honor this great man.I am living an independent life ..YES, but i wouldnt have been here without my dad's strength.His own way of expressing his affection for us is very touching.

Thank you Papa for everything.For the wisdom behind all the things you've shown us.I wish you more of life's blessings. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Water for Elephants

photo form google images

                                            

It's my first time to read a Sarah Gruen's novel.I love the fact that she was able to bring me to the great world of circus which I havent really been into during my younger days.Giving vivid descriptions of the menagerie and the distinct relationship between that elephant Rosie and the main characters was superb.It was painful for me to know that each character has to undergo episodes that were equally heatbreaking.The story of love and passion between Jacob and Marlena and the overwhelming devotion of  the schizophrenic August towards Marlena were no extraordinary stories.Each of us has been into their shoes.In the end, things are alright and fate leads us to where we are supposed to be.



One needs a strong spirit to overcome any circumstance.Jacob has depicted that.He survived despite everything  unpleasant has happened to him.The purity of his heart reminded me of my once pure and innocent love towards someone who shared the same purity and innocence with me.I wonder whether ours would have a great ending too.



Old age may limit one from doing the usual stuff but it should not be something that would paralyze him from still dreaming and hoping of a brighter tomorrow..at least for a limited time.Jacob's strength allowed him to be free from the confines of that hospital.He did not allow his state to control him.He was in the end FREED and enjoyed what he loved most..The circus.



It was a story of hope, triumph, friendship and love.It's my story.It's everybody's story.




"Sara Gruen mines fertile territory in Water for Elephants: the chronic miseries of advancing old age and the terrible years of the Great Depression, when people wandered the country in search of work, their homes and failed business left behind.
As the novel begins, Jacob Jankowski is an old man in an assisted living home, his memories sparked by a nearby visiting circus and a creeping helplessness that assaults his aging body: “Age is a terrible thief. Just when you think you’re getting the hang of it, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back.”
As he falls into fitful dreams, the past emerges. Stripped of everything after his parents’ untimely death, the twenty-three-year-old fails to sit for his veterinary exams at Cornell, grief-stricken and robbed of home and future, the country bartering in goods instead of money.
Hopping a circus train in the dead of night that by belongs to The Flying Squadron of the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth, Jacob hires on to care for the show’s menagerie, his advanced training in veterinary medicine a ticket into this bizarre world. Uncle Al, Benzini Brothers circus owner-by-default, is a ruthless businessman who cares only for his reputation, engaged in a quest for fame to rival the great Ringling Brothers.
Star performer Marlena, an equestrienne, adores her animals and is quick to notice Jacob but circumspect in her actions. Her mercurial husband, the trainer August, is obsessively jealous and given to unspeakable cruelties toward man and beast. Jacob does his best to protect the animals from their harsh existence, especially Rosie, an elephant purchased to replace Marlena’s lead horse.
Jacob is increasingly attached to Rosie, empathizing with her plight at August’s hands and helpless to change the situation. Because of his growing affection for Marlena, Jacob suffers August’s increasing affronts, caught in a cycle of inevitable violence, certain of a reckoning.
Related in the somber tones of the Depression, the novel addresses the hardscrabble and often unscrupulous practices of a traveling circus, the rowdy carnie atmosphere and the antiseptic corridors of the assisted living home, all viewed through Jacob’s perspective, as he rages helplessly against the decrepitude of old age and the secrets of the past: “In seventy years, I never told a blessed soul.”
In prose both poignant and infinitely tender, Jacob dwells in both worlds, revealing the wounds of the past and the sorrows of the present. In a devastating denouement, as inescapable as the indifferent world that turns a blind eye to the vagrants of the ‘30s, Jacob’s spirit retains the essence of his kind nature, a man who cannot be broken by circumstances. All is redeemed in a coup de grace that will leave the reader richer for having met this raggedy tribe of miscreants and lost souls."




From  http://www.curledup.com/water4el.htm