It has been days since that poweful moon lit the entire hemisphere and it is still waning, I am still also experiencing my own moonday moments. I am literally bored these past few days. Certainly, this is not the first time I experience this boredom syndrome. Just like any active human being, time always gives me moments when I just wanted to literally STOP!
I practice everyday at home since I don't have any regular teacher on the weekdays. I like the feeling that my room has become my shala again. It is hot indeed so i opt to slice up my practice so as not to experience exhaustion. Room temperature in the morning is already "hellish."
My mind is empty for the most part of the day as I tend to be very conscious of my breathing but believe me---when you are at home for the whole day almost always there will be that tiny demons that will haunt you. And yes! I have mine too.
I often stop to think as to where I am going. I have the dislike of going back to teach at the university. I simply want out and just be that free spirited being who will not be worried about the travel, requirements and expectations of people. I am less interested to teach Theology.
My mind is filled with the desire of doing yoga more. I want to deepen my practice. I long to go somewhere and get myself taught by a spiritual teacher at least for a month.
There is also the lingering thought of travelling and putting up my own business. I just have so much in my head.
Then I start to get worked up and bored about my state and it has become a dreadful state. Because of boredom, I also entertain thoughts and acts which are both sexual and sensual. Surprisingly, I am not feeling guilty or some sort. I just really don't like what's going on.
Then my bored self just got a little moment of epiphany today. After a good practice and a few chores at home, I started reading the book which I have bought some months ago. It's Donna Farhi's Yoga Mind, Body and Spirit. I just read her own take on the the the living principles of yoga and I feel like not going to stop.
The Yamas and Niyamas which are the first among the ten provide me the chance to reflect on where I am in my living the yogic kind of life. I am slowly reminded about what matters to me in life and whether or not my life at the moment is what really makes me happy. My heart and my mind both are hooked because I know I am here at this stage because there is a reason. I need to undergo this journey of purification.
The Yamas which are the wise characteristics for one to live a free life includes the following precepts:
1. Ahimsa-compassion for all living things
2. Satya- commitment to the truth
3. Asteya- Not stealing
4. Brahmacharya- merging with the One
5. Aparigaha- not grasping
The Niyamas on the other hand are the codes to live Soulfully. In includes:
1. Shaucha-purity
2. Santosha-Contentment
3. Tapas-Burning Enthusiasm
4. Swadhyaya-Self-study
5.Ishvarapranidhana- Celebration of the Spiritual
I am not yet done reading the precepts but one thing I know, I am bent to do a lot of growing up to do. After all, gold is always tested by/through fire.
The boredom that I have at the moment is not a mistake at all. I just need to find that spark once more to live the way I should. Everything in life is perfected through practice. I am beginning to practice now.
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