Month ender write up

The moon is now waning but I am still tired. I had a a good practice at the shala last Saturday, though but my emotions up till now are still high and low. I am hit at times with sadness since I am way too far too even visit my sick father and attend to my family's ordeal. Calls are regular though but seeing and knowing how limited time there is for my father make me anxious to go home. I am hoping October arrives soon so I can visit during the break.

I had a confrontation with my landlady for the first time last Saturday. I felt I needed to say my piece since I had been experiencing inconveniences while  their house repair is going on. I was way too assertive that I ended up getting hyped up. A stone massage helped me eased my stress.

My mind, so you know, is confused. Thoughts come and go. I do entertain them at times but mostly I just keep myself busy with stuff. My heart is restless knowing it wants to find its way back home within. It is at this moment that breathing is very necessary.

I am counting my life at the University. I am counting months before I can rest from the hellish traffic. 

Where to after? Om shanti, shanti

Anyung, Sally

Non-attachment is easier said than done specially if one gets to be with the person for a long time. Still, at the end of the day letting go is the best option.

I am emotional right now and I must confess I have already started crying earlier today upon learning that my online student, Sally, will have her last class with me tomorrow. With all my heart, I do love this girl and I am terribly missing her now even if I knew I will still talk to her tonight and     tomorrow.

Sally started with me some 4 years ago. She was in her elementary years that time and she had a bit of awkward first few moments with me. It was understandable as she was was not yet very comfortable with me and the English language. 

That was history then because Sally has grown so much. She has become more confident using English even if at times it may sound cute and funny. The most important thing is she can communicate. I have witnessed her growth. Despite the virtual class that we have everyday, I know we have embraced each other importantly.

She needs to focus on her schooling. As we all know, Korean education is tough and Sally is going to be in high school soon. My God, my heart is aching as I am writing this. The thought of not going to skype her everyday hurts so much. This is just very hard right now.

I will forever remember her because she has really made my life more beautiful. She just is an angel to me. I want to hug her tight. This is painful, really. Well, all goodbyes are.

I am glad I have been given the five long years to journey with her and with that I am forever grateful.

Sally, Saranghe. Till we meet again.

This Heart is a bit sad...but joyful


 

                                                

our very first photo during my earlier practices


It just dawned on me today that my very first yoga teacher for six months will be leaving soon.He will have his last class with us next Saturday.As for me, today might be my last with him.My family will be coming over for their weekend visit and  I am not certain if I could still join his class then. I am beginning to be sad.

I had one of the greatest practices today.While on my full backbends, he guided me to stand on my feet.I couldnt really do it when I attended a mysore class, but with him as my teacher, it seemed so easy.He asked me to do it twice with his arms circling my waist.Boy, I did it!

on my birthday at a Greek Resto, with the book he gave

I gave him our send off gift after the practice.Jiah and Angel weren't there so I was the only one who handed it to him.It was a bit frustrating that the size was small.I hope the store could still change it to medium.We talked for a while as usual.

He hugged me afterwards.I remember the first time that we embraced.I felt my teacher's warmth.I was so touched by the gesture.I will forever remember the friendship that we share.

Reality sank in while I was travelling on the way to the pancake house to have lunch.I wanted to cry because my heart was already very heavy. I didnt even know it was coming. I thought I was ready for his leaving as I had learned it for a few months already.I just couldn't cry in front of other people at the mall.I wanted to run home and hide in my bed and just really let my emotions out. I needed to compose myself though.I had to pay my bills and do some food shopping.More importantly, I need to focus.MY anxiety can be controlled, baby.

When I reached home, I looked at our photos and talked to it.I thanked him again and then I cried.I stayed in bed and just dwelt on whatever it was I was feeling.I just had separation anxiety.Who wouldn't have?He is such a special soul for me.My dreams were all revelations of the connection that the two of us have.

Jon with me, angel and jiah during our send off lunch for him @Kebab's factory

                                 
Now, that he will be away, Im sure it will be a different vibe in the shala.The universe certainly will help me strengthen my heart.At this juncture, I am just slowly getting better.Crying is healing.

Jon is a great soul.In time, we will meet again.Wherever and whenever, they don't really matter.Here in my heart, he is already etched.My dear guru will surely be missed but I am very happy he's spreading his wings again.


Farewell Jon.Farewell my teacher.Stay peaceful and Happy.

My love and prayers are with you.OM.