Happiness:)

It was a magical day for me. After ten long years,  my friends Neo and Eric were ordained deacons of the society of jesus. My happiness is beyond compare. Im glad I am part of their journey. This mystery. Im looking forward this summer for them to become priests. God is indeed good.

Thoughts

Like I have no choice but crumble again so I could stand stronger than ever. Depressing weather hit us the whole week. I was all alone at home trying to stay sane despite my worries about the water going up and not anymore having enough food supply. The  mind is so clogged with thoughts. Emotions wavered. Breathed.Sighed. Breathed.

I survive.Still in tact.Fighting, moving ahead. Aja:)

Today, a Sunday

The moon i guess is getting fuller.i could feel my body's lethargic again. Yesterday's practice was intense, not to mention me falling from being assisted by a teacher. I didnt exactly know why and how it happened. All i knew was i heard a loud thug as my head hit the floor. Good thing there was the mat and my fall was low. The teacher was worried bout it... I must say, sometimes life allows us to fall in order to rise.

I was happy being with the yogins after the practice yet i woke up tired today. I had dreams of black snakes twice. One was me being approached by this dreaded crawling animal. I smell something bad. Though i am worried , i am resigning the events that will come along.

The weather is bad today and just like it, i feel gloomy. Whew! Moon day, stormy, .. Ahh universe bless me.

OM.

yeah..

It!s been awhile. Life has been the usual roller coaster ride. Work .at least my encounter with my students, is still very grace-filled. Outside of this, i must say tiring.

I have given up online students so budget is tight. It wasnt easy saying no to a kid who just wanted to learn. I was just really stressed out.

I needed to let go one of my PhD classes. Time is not on my side.it wasnt easy though. I feel like making my professor grow a year older.

It was a series of letting go's. I still need to live life.

Practice is good,thankfully.

giving up..(i guess)

The whole week has been both fulfilling and  tiring. My breath has become shorter as i climb the stairs. My body's tired and wanted rest. My mind has been wanting to relax.

Part of me wants to give all my academic endeavors up. I have been haunted with the question: what exactly is the significance of my toil?

Of course i am very grateful with my students. Nothing compares with my encounter with them but what constrain me are the meetings, paperworks and people who are too full of themselves (i guess i am one of them).

I want to retreat. I want to stay longer on the mat. I want to breathe more. I want my body to be at ease again.

Om. I want to live. Work is killing my body. Except for my teaching, i want to give up everything else.

TWO WEEKS highlights

It has been two weeks since the new school year opened. Since then I have been climbing up and  down the highest floors of three different  buildings at the university. It has also been two weeks since I started waking up as early as 3:15 in the morning to get myself ready for school. I have been tired since then.

It has also been two weeks since I  first met my lovely students. It  has been two weeks of disclosures, not to mention the emotional  outpourings of my wounded souls. I have been both sad and grateful for them.

It has also been two weeks since I  last practiced with teacher Arne and today is his last practice with the manila yogins. I am not there.

I am grateful I am still filled with joy despite my being tired. I love these bunch of souls and im hoping to continue journeying with them.

Today is friday. I am glad I can rest.

Namaste!

Weeklong Highlights

The school year is about the begin. I only have like 3 days before I'll start waking up at 3:30 in the morning again and will be sitting for more than an hour on a bus to go to school. Aside from this routine, there will be more hurdles to take..textbook writing, PhD classes, papers, students problems and all that. This is life for me then for another year. I bet I dont have the right to lament for now.

Anyway, the week has given me so much. I have all the emotions felt.

Shocked over the death of a dear student. Just like that, she's gone so soon after being hit by a bus. I relearned something. I am very temporal therefore i need to detach, detach and detach from all that will make me lesser than a good person.

Grateful yet sad for I just culminated my practice at the Makati shala with teacher Arne. I have missed the heat, the energy, the warmth and the teacher's patience, gentleness and firmness all rolled into one. I wrote him a thank you message and this is his reply.

Teacher Arne

           

It has been a pleasure for me too
Thank you Jennifer for your kind message.
Keep up the good work and remember that the asanas are just a vehicule, not the goal. With patience and dedication everything will come. "Practice practice and all is coming" Guruji used to say.
Sending you a big hug and hopefully you will find a time to come practice one day on the following weeks or in the future.

Take care.
Big hug.

Arne.

Ahh, such a sweet one.a true guru.

With Ate Gina

                          

Happy and Grateful for the encounter with simple folks at Cabuyao. The few hours of living with Ate Gina's household reminded me that we are all connected. Our troubles are similar. We could always learn from each other and that we are all created by one and the same God therefore we are all special.


I am a bit tired too. Womanity again?!:)

This is it. I am bent to have some busy months ahead. Despite this , my practice will continue. This is after all what matters most.

Namaste.

Last of June

I was supposed to practice today but for some reasons I didnt. Actually, I felt a bit hesitant thinking i 'll be weaker with some poses. My competitive self is taking the limelight. I know I  should not think about not being good enough with my practice as this is not what yoga is. Last night i kept on dreaming about being at the shala ..being with the yogins and all.

This morning, I should have been there but my ego sets in. I am here instead, laidback, thinking, doing stuff i should not have done.

I am here trying to reconnect with my imperfect self. Tired maybe, but still conscious I did a few not so good choices this last day of May.

I'm still glad I'm  here. Pensive. Collected.

randomness on a friday

My acidity is getting hyped up. I feel tired having this ordeal but i have no choice but deal with the pain  as i am also responsible  for its recurrence.

Life has been frenetic for me this summer and i guess it will be like this from hereon since it will be school time again very soon.

I do wish to rest longer. Like going to the beach or the mountains. ( please universe, let me.)

Anyway, more than anything else i need to practice more. I miss so much my mat, the shalas and my like minds.

Namaste!

Thoughts ....

Christology class with father Lode Wostyn, cicm

We have just ended our summer classes in the very tedious PhD in theology. I feel a deep sense of relief knowing at last after more than a month i can get back the normalcy that I have so missed. I am happy being laid back again (at least for a few days). My house is wanting the care it deserves also and I have to say I have tons of laundry already. (Ohh, I am glad I did the cleaning and the washing this morning on the second day of my period, huh!)

So what have I exactly gotten from my theological wrangling? I am not actually that happy realizing that the language is not just really something I am very interested about. My heart is not that whole in this particular endeavor. I know where I want to go and at this juncture...I must say,I am not made to be a theologian in the real sense of the word.

I may still get some subjects come opening of the school year but it does not necessarily mean I will die for this. My practice has been sacrificed already and my peace of mind has been affected. I am not a scholar.I am a spiritual human being.

I love my professors, specially the very wise Father Lode. More than anything else, I love my classmates and they are one  of the very few reasons I might continue this  but I already know what I actually want. I am just waiting for the right timing. I just want to deepen my practice. I just want to live a stress-free life. Slow..gentle.calm..happy life.

my Father Lode:)

                                      

                                                   Namaste everyone.Embrace your peace.

PhD...is it for real?

With my classmates and professor in Theological Research

I have survived the first two weeks of PhD program in Theology.It was honestly a roller coaster ride for me as I still feel like an alien invading an unknown territory. Being with classmates who  more or less have background with Theology stuff, I  categorize myself as an underdog. My one year teaching experience in the field doesn't suffice. There seems to be many things I have to learn. Doing discourse analysis is tough.I had a hard time connecting theological matters.

What am I doing here? was the very first question I asked the group in one of our classes in Biblical research. I was just very overwhelmed. My classmates are great people to be with.The professors are nice, so far. Still, I feel this is not really for me.

It's summer and I have nothing BIG to do so I decided to give this study a go. The school is also generous enough to grant me free tuition and some  monetary subsidy. I am blessed certainly. It is just too heavy for me. I feel like I have to go back from scratch.

Is this really for me? I still could not reconcile the idea that I am trudging this path. I dont know if I am resisting but I really wish I could go back to teaching English.

 Tomorrow is another day in school. Another subject.another professor.

Oh , Universe, lead me please.

Om.

Yes, that Mexican teacher is good

Today is a holiday and I decided to join the practice at the other shala. I was hesitant at fist because I had a feeling that the place was not convenient for me. Connie, my guru, was kind enough to pick me up so i really had no choice but joined her.

The universe had  its own way of unfolding surprises to me. First surprise was for me to be in a shala that's not familiar.Not to mention the bikram state of the room. I was already profusely sweating just by doing my suryas. It was also amusing to see that I was literally in a place where mirrors were all around.I could see myself from my downward dogs and binds.Nice.

The teacher (a mexican and whose name is arne) roamed around the place while checking on us. He was , as expected , gentle in his adjustments. He didnt anymore let me do the second series. Instead he asked me to do backbends. He asked me if I could do drop back, I said yes.

I had always this hesitation to come up without the wall thinking my legs arent that strong yet.You know what? I didnt know how he did that but after assisting me to come up, he left me on my own and God, I was able to come up alone.I was so happy that I hugged Connie who was beside me. I could not contain my joy so I was literally jumping. The mexican teacher just  smiled from afar.

He was there while I was doing my forward bends. God, I was really so happy.

It was a hot day yes. My face was literally red and sweating but I could not believe there's that huge surprise for me. My coming up from my backbend.

I thanked teacher Arne before I went home.I will never forget him. I will be back to practice with him for sure.

Yes, he was good,Next to Jon, I guess I have found another guru.(at least for a few weeks)..

Namaste!

Yes, I'm 42

I am blessed.I am almost going to be fifty.( 8 years from now)
Today, I am 42.I am still alone but happy.I am not saying there are no hitches because there are. In fact, countless of them but life as I see it has opened up better doors for me. There are chapters finally closed. There will be many to be unfolded. In the midst of the

goodbyes and hellos, I am constantly grateful for this borrowed life.

I am uncertain where to go and what to do. Despite this, I just trust my heart that the Universe will bring me to places that I truly deserve. I trust that it will lead me to people that I truly need.

I am just happy today. It is all that really matters.

Namaste!

A GOOD FRIDAY PRACTICE

The whole christendom is commemorating the death of Jesus Christ today, I supposed. I am a Catholic, yes, and a theologian at that. It has been a while since I forego joining Church rituals during the lemten  season. I have learned to make a  more profound way of remembering Jesus' passion, death and resurrection. I am wholly at home since Monday. There are prayers , meditations and lighting of incense that are done. Because I am alone, it is not difficult for me to keep in touch with what's within me. Alas, my journey has been tough.

With the full moon and the heat, emotions again struggle generally. My body's sore and my breathing dragging. There are issues that constantly haunt me..that of my family(my father's behavior, specially). Food consists mostly of veggies and fruits. I have only eaten rice once this week.:)

This morning, I went to joji's place to practice. Steph was there too. It was really hot and we were contemplating of not pushing through with the asanas. Yogins as we are, we finally convinced ourselves to practice.

I did my primary. I sweated a lot and i loved it. Binding was easier and i felt very light. It was just not to my legs' favor. When i came up from my drop backs, I could not straighten my legs. Joji had to assist me. Dear Universe, Please give me strong legs.:)

Food was very simple but healthy. Conversation was light, humorous and passionate in a way. I love my yoga friends. We were able to watch a film about the Tibetan's practice of choosing the reincarnated dalai lama. (The UNMISTAKEN CHILD)

It was nice lounging with the two yogins. It was a good friday and what better way to remember Jesus' suffering than to be with people with a common cause.

We had to go. It was hot outside. I am filled with peace and joy now. I am glad i perspired and I am thankful for today.

Namaste.

Summer thoughts

It's officially the start of my summer break.(At least for a couple of weeks).There are a few things to look forward to during this hot season.
It's my 42nd birthday and another year of being unattached. The beauty of it is that I am still free. What's a bit frustrating is that I still havent met the one that's swept me off my feet.(Or better yet..have i still not gotten over my cinderella syndrome?)Sigh!

I am more than fifty percent bent to grab the chance to venture into another higher degree in theology.For the love of studying, i wish I am doing the right thing.

Then there is my desire to be more dedicated to my practice.With this, I am looking forward to join a series of meditation classes at the Buddhist temple.It is not cool to stay home all the time.The mind wanders off and oftentimes, it's brought me more harm than good.

My prayers are constant for my family. Such dysfunction is happening at home and even if I am far I am still affected. There is a need for healing and strength.

More than all these laments, I am truly grateful for this process of growth. With the moon smiling fully tonight, I am in deep sorrow for all my shortcomings and I am looking forward for a better 42.

Einstein on Buddhism

Einstein on Buddhism

“A human being is part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe’; a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely but striving for such achievement is, in itself, a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security.”

Richard and Amy

Yesterday,  as I was with the whole university community for a recollection, my dear student Richard sent me identical messages telling me he's tired of crying. He told me his wife of more than two months died and that the pain was just too much.

It was a numbing experience for me because the first thing that came  to my mind was to see him and just hug him but I couldn't. It was so sudden and I haven't had any inkling that his young wife was sick.I found time to go out of the session hall and called him.That was the first time I heard him so vulnerable.He was crying still and I really could not say anything more than just asking him what else can I do for him.

Richard is 22 and I guess his wife was 26. Theirs was an arranged marriage but it was a blessed one.He has started loving  her since then.

This young gentleman has shared a part of his journey with me even until the semester ended. I am thankful that I was one of those he had trusted of his decision making..his dilemnas, his growth as married man. More than anything else, we are not just into a teacher-student relationship but we are friends.

With the sudden death of his wife, I cant imagine the pains that he's into. A more than two-month old  union  which was so full of hope and promises for a great future just ended like that.  At 22, and is still beginning to understand what loving beyond love is, I could not envision how he would cope with the loss. Yet, because he's got a strong back up from HIS GOD, there is also no doubt that he would survive and would become a better man.

We had thoughts of meeting together with his wife but I guess it wont happen anymore. All i would have would be more lovely stories about her from a husband who's now bereft of a great loving woman. As I write this, there is heaviness in my heart.

I wish I could visit the wake and if I couldn't the UNIVERSE will certainly bring them my prayers for comfort.

Death is a physical parting, I believe so. It is breaking people's hearts, yes. It is going to be a foe for a while but in the long run too, death will serve as a reminder that this is not our home here and we don't actually own the people we care about. It will allow us then to give what we can to those around while we can. We don't know the hour it will take us but death...is just here.

We need therefore to love beyond love just like what the young wife Amy did to Richard. It is all that matters in life.

I just wish I were as sublime as her. May she rest in peace and I am grateful to her to come into my dear student's life.

Namaste everyone.Let's take care of people we are with.

I miss so many simple stuffs

It's almost the third month of 2013 and what am I doing? I am actually periody right now so I guess I am a bit pensive.Perhaps even nostalgic and down.Anyway, let's pretend I am normal and that I am thinking straight.

Let's see then what this hormonal mermaid is capable of expressing at this stage.

1. I miss reading BIG TIME because I am a becoming more of a TV person. What with the great shows laid before me. I need to shift gear. I am aching to be laid back while having some good reads.

2. I miss the BEACH and I am wishing to have my tan this summer.Oh, please Universe lead me there. I want to swim, frolick and forget about work and all.

3. I miss Dorothy and the times we spent together. I want so much to go to Korea soon. Is there a way I can be there this summer?

4. I miss so many people.

More than anything else I  miss my childhood.

This yogin is acting human and because she is.

Namste! (I have a bug GRIN now:)

Inspiration for today

"There is only one important point you must keep in your mind and let it be your guide. No matter what people call you, you are just who you are. Keep to this truth. You must ask yourself how is it you want to live your life. We live and we die, this is the truth that we can only face alone. No one can help us, not even the Buddha. So consider carefully, what prevents you from living the way you want to live your life?”
~Dalai Lama XIV~

Need I say More? (Coelho spoke it all for me)

That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are. 

~Paulo Coelho~

Sayama - Gently Awakening

Life at its vulnerable moments..life at its struggling times.
There is always a space for the soul to be healed..gently.
For life in the bigger scheme of things is BEAUTIFUL..PURE..LOVED.

Getting there

I am wishing that by 2013 I'll have stronger arms and legs. Literally! I pray the Universe will bless me legs that can hold me steadily as I come up from my backbends. I also pray for stronger arms so i would be able to hold them still and straight while doing laghu and similar stuffs.

anyway, I guess I am getting there.In time, with more practice , I'm sure i will get there.

This is me earlier this afternoon trying my laghu.Thanks to my nephew who took this photos.

 

NAMASTE!l

Sweet Long dream

I have been praying for a spiritual partner.That someone who can make my heart beat again like crazy.Someone beyond expression,.Someone I can be intimate with.Someone I am going to be totally free.

Like any other longing, the dreams that I have are manifestations of these.
I dream normally, yes.Like it is always an extension of me.
Earlier this morning while still in deep slumber I dreamt of someone I look up to. Man, that was  not the first time. The dream was so hugely real that I ended up waking up so peaceful and happy.

It was all about him..my spiritual teacher .(I am not so brave to mention his name.) It was all about us hugging for the longest time. It was all about us longing to be together.It was all about Him hugging me and never uttering anything.Just hugging.So close.It was all about me hugging him.Closing my eyes and sleeping while embracing him tightly. No words. Nothing.Just hugging longingly. There was no need for words. We both knew how deep we cared and loved each other.

Then it culminated with him looking at me.Shaking.Hard on. Crying.Embarrased. Telling me he's scared we wont be friends again.I was hugging him crying too.I told him if he only knew how i felt too.

Dear God..we're crying and hugging.

I woke up praying.Thanking the Universe for another intimate dream. It was not the first time.Not the second either but the -nth time.

What could that mean?
I sent him a christmas greeting today.He greeted me back. I felt a bit scared. I really dont know.

There are questions in my head but I know there are no answers yet. I care deeply about him.He is a great mentor and friend. I know not why like this.Dreams of him like that.

May the universe lead me..

Om.

Christmas with my kariton family:)

Even when there is a strain that connects me with my real family, it would not make me become less sensitive to those people who deserve to be treated with dignity.
I decided not to join our department's christmas part to give way for a day with the people on the streets. I was a bit tired the day before this encounter but it was all part of the plan of the universe that I should be there the next day up and about.

I didnt know what to expect as we journeyed towards Aurora boulevard. There we were welcomed by friendly faces who lived in their pushcarats (kariton). With my  comrades, Milet, Sister and Gil, we spent the whole day with our foster family, Erickson and his wife jaryl with their 3 month old baby girl.

It was a huge relief knowing the sun was very cooperative. We did our part as members of the family that day. We took turns taking care of the baby, bathing and putting her to sleep.

I guess the photos below would tell you how real joy permeated during that simple meeting. I am glad I made such a choice. Despite all that's happened with me, I am very complete knowing I have met people whom I considered my family.

The simple cart on the street has welcomed me as an authentic person. I felt so loved and accepted. I am not judged. I love being with them and I pray they will be blessed more.

Here let's look back at what happened that day.

that's the father erickson, man with dignity.Im with baby girl too.

authentic smiles overflowed

Gil and Ericksoon bonding time

every single trash is important for them

their abode:(

I pray you will have a better place to stay dear:)

but the laughters said it all. We built a family together.

just look at the big laughs

rare moments.i can die for this.

here..I am filled with love.

my new family

lunchtime:)

i am loving this and all.

goodmorning baby:)

the three of us with baby

smile

Merry Christmas everyone.

Brother, no more

You know the feeling when you're being harassed, demeaned, offended, insulted, accused and what have you? It isn't cool, right.It is even worst when the person who did it to you is supposed to be your family..a brother at that.

So far, all the respect left for him vanished. I know he was provoked but that doesnt give him the license to treat me like I am the lowest creature on earth. Sorry but I have started loathing that we are after all of the same bloodline. I guess if there is really a GOD (I have actually started doubting again) then he/she/it would know how I was treated yesterday.

It's Christmas season, yes..but, I have to make it clear...my family has not been really those that  I am happy to be with.

I am just glad I have good people around.

I am still angry and I am scared even being attached to my surname. I am hating being with my family. This is wrong, yes.. but right now, i am hurt and I wont even give that asshole a chance to do that thing again to me.

Calling me names..he's the worst man ever.

May the Universe forgive me and bring me good energy. Om.

Ahhh the Moon

it has been days since its full bloom but the moon still rules the night sky at this juncture. If she could just read my thoughts right now,i really wish I would be freed from this emotional lethargy.I dont exactly understand but since she's stronger these days, I guess I just really have to find my center.I wish I could despite my cloudy mind. Anyway, see her from outside my window.
  

First of December thoughts

Yes it's December First and I am beginning to dread going home.It's not because I dont want to but I am scared I would still experience similar, if not, the same scenario way back. Just earlier today, we're again tested financially and it frustrates me a lot until now. I know there are always things that I cant control but my humanity sets in and that makes everything seemed hopeless.

The question as to whether or not there is  an end to the kind of thing I am feeling about my family is doubly haunting. For the love of peace I really wish each member knows what he/she has to do. I am already losing patience and hope. May God help me.

Despite this disturbance, I am so looking forward to life. My practice has been growing.Being in the second series, I am already doing laghu vajrasana. Admittingly, it was very difficult at first.I found it hard to straighten my arms as I bring my head to the floor.Ahhh, this is similar to my life. I bend everytime I have down moments. It is a joy to come up after that,of course.

There is that great friendship among my fellow yogins. I am still loving our lunches and good conversation.

Work is cool..not to mention tough when the director sets in for meetings. I'm learning to breathe more though. There is , however, a thought as to whether or not I'll continue here. I still want to do things on my own and be free just like before. Inshallah.

I am also wanting to find my spiritual partner. I wish I could meet him despite the tremendous strings of uncertainties.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Random thoughts 11/18/12

It has been two weeks since the new semester began and I have been hyped up with the travel to and fro to accomplish my work . There is so much to thank God for. There are the new sets of students, not to mention those few  familiar faces around. It is also a new program. MORAL THEOLOGY at that. It was fun and challenging at the same time to introduce to my flock major issues that would be tackled the entire semester. I am loving every minute being with these souls. I am in fact  more than excited to hear more heartfelt stories to tell. (I actually had several already and my heart has been moved so much).

Food

It has been a habit of us yogins to have lunch together after our Saturday intense practice. That feeling of fullness is always looked forward to. I love it when we order food to share.It is not heavy on our pockets but we are blessed with a healthy appetite. Coupled with great conversation, any simple dish is made special.I just love Saturday lunches.

Here are a few of the standouts.

Sumpia, all veggies inside

 Binagoongang rice

fried mushroom

How about these?

I really don't have any idea how i look like while practicing. It's not that I am self-conscious but I am pretty curious as to how i execute the different poses. Many said that I am very flexible and yes, i think I am but as to how I actually look like is possibly exciting to see by myself.

So, my friends took time to capture these:

utplutih

urdhva padmasana

Namaste!

How about my own version of "Guinataan"

I am not a good cook in the real sense of the word but I can be applauded when I will whip a dish with love.

MY guinataan

My friend Michelle and I were craving for this native delicacy guinataan since Saturday. I volunteered to make it and she's in charge of buying the ingredients.


Here are the simple things needed.

finely cubed sweet potatoes (camote)
thinly sliced ripe  bananas ( saba)
2 cups of coconut milk
brown sugar
roasted mongo
dough balls (bilo bilo)
tapioca pearl (sago)
half cup of rice

To make my own version, I simply mixed the rice and sweet potatoes (camote) with 5 cups of water and let them boil. When it started  to boil, I constantly stirred  to mix everything.Then after 3 minutes or so, I added the dough balls, roasted mongo and stirred again. After about another 3 minutes, I added the cocounut milk and I kept it to boil. I stirred again to  mix everything and to make it sticky. The bananas were added then the brown sugar. Continuous stirring was done until such a time that everything's cooked.

Everyone had a great snack after. ..It was my first attempt to make it and Michelle loved the outcome.

I was very happy to feed them.

Celebrating Friendships

It's another moonday today and I am not very happy, yes. It's not because there are reasons why I have to be sad but really I am just pulled away from that state.See, even my writing here is very confusing.Thanks Moon.

Anyway, this phase will soon leave and I would be my happy self again.Despite the oh-so-low-mood- bruhahas-I am actually blessed with great celebrations of friendships this week.

Amy, whom I havent seen in a while, will soon be leaving to the US.I am a bit happy and jealous for her.It's normal though. We had a sumptuous seafood dinner on a Friday and that has made me so full. What a treat. I just had to experience a slight difficulty in my mariachi's the next day. It's alright though. I had so much fun   and I guess that dinner would be the last, at least this year. Ahh,I will miss her.

checking out on mir piano man:)

I will miss you ams:(

                               

Yes, our food.

                              
After my yoga practice on a Saturday, my dear friend Michelle and I visited a Buddhist temple in Manila Despite  the heat and the  traffic, we were able to find solace at such a lovely place. We were just there seated  and sharing life. It was such a breath of fresh air.It was an authentic encounter with ourselves. The Buddhas.

PEACE!

The Monks

With Michelle

Someone is leaving and it is going to be sad but sadness is  temporary.Just like happiness.I am just glad I have shared moments with these people.I am very grateful.

Break it is!

I am officially on a break from teaching now. It was supposed to have started last week but I was worked up with the syllabus making thing.It was fun though.What with the theological wrangling stuff and all.It was my first so it was kind of oh-so -new- thing for me .

It was also a great time bonding with colleagues outside the school premises. I could not also believe I survive the train rides for three days without much hassle. So big congratulations for me then.

Since I am awaiting my monthly ordeal, there is this natural body tiredness that's haunting me. I wanted to fight the hormonal imbalance cycle so I went to practice early on a Monday. It was heavy though. My breaths were not deep and my muscles were tired. I did the primary series and decided to finish with my teacher's approval. I was just not on my element. Oh wait, it was my body actually. Massage helped though afterwards.

There were bits and bits of situations that irritated me.Expected!

Anyway, i would like to share some beautiful pictures I took while I was on my three day syllabus making at the Saint Vincent School of Theology.

i love the sun . what with the duck and the green green grasses.

oh lotus!

May all beings be peaceful.

May all beings be free.

 May all beings be safe.

Grateful for the gift of life.

Tears

 

Then the tears filled the room last night.It was another vulnerable moment.When all I had was my weakness.I had nothing except that. It was a sweet surrender to the one who is capable of making things possible.Ahhh, it was all I needed to be alive.Tears.Surrender.Pains.Healing.

Gratitude..

 

Heavy practice

                          

As I officially start my semestral break today, I made a decision to intensify my practice. I aim to really stand on my own from my backbends.I also want to stay attune to what I am thinking and of course be conscious that there are other things that matter except fretting over low finances and that vicious cycle that haunts my family. Duh!
Lo and behold I had the Shala all by myself this morning but it wasn't exactly the practice that I have been aspiring. I guess I defied the yogic philosophy of just be and never expect. My bad!
My body wasn't very responsive at all. I felt so exhausted even by the mere thought of doing the initial asanas. I wanted to cheat and just hoped to quit but I persisted. My mind was also busy on its own. Thoughts here and there. I just wanted to stop.

After almost 2 hours though I finished the practice. With my breathing heavy and my body tired, I just tried to remember that some days are really stoned.

I learned again to stop doing and just let things flow. Expectations kill the spirit and yes today i just died.

Yoga is my natural state and because it is I am sure I will be fine.

Namaste!

YOGA (What I am reading online these days)

 I am going back to where it all started.I want to deepen my yoga practice and I am bent to start reading everything there is available. Grateful for the materials on the web.

Come read with me.

Namaste!

"Yoga is a superhuman principle working for a superhuman purpose, through a superhuman medium. We cease to be ordinary persons before this masterly science. When we enter the field of this knowledge of the ultimate science of the mystery of life, we do not enter it as a man or a woman; we do not enter it as a human being at all. We enter it as a principle. We know that there is a great difference between a person and a principle. We are always fond of persons and not principles because we cannot see principles; we see only persons and things. But persons and things do not exist, to tell the truth. It is principles that exist. It is a law that exists. It is an order of things which ultimately is the constituting factor of even things. We are told even today that things do not exist, but only forces exist."

Click here...
 
http://www.swami-krishnananda.org/patanjali/raja_02.html

Random thoughts 9/15

Fifteen days of not writing any entry here seems like eternity for me. There's this lingering block that disabled me to scribble even a single word. A lot has happened since then...it was, in fact a grand roller coaster ride in the real sense of the word.

There was the argument with the director...but issues were settled I believe so. I realize these things.

EGO is a great enemy.Just back off then.Things pass.Just do what needs to be done.To be on top seems lonely.Understand more but never allow anyone to rain on your parade.

CONGRATS dear self for you had at least said your piece.

Family matters still affect me but I learned to keep quiet more specially when there are moments that challenge me to be confrontational. It pays.Nature knows what it is all about.

Im worried about dad and mom.They're  aging but  I am still hoping and praying they'll live good and happy lives and not experience any turmoil, specially from us , children.I guess they worry about us all. It's not  nice.

Yoga practice is getting better. I am loving every moment I have. Life is yoga and yoga is life for me. My journey is still ongoing.

I am getting better.I am a child of the UNIVERSE and I know I am loved.