Holiday anticipation

Today is gonna be the last day of 2014 in school and I will be homeward tomorrow. Mixed feelings:)

A lot has happened at work. There are relationships unpatched, and emotions are challenged but the most important thing achieved is the level of strength I get out of all these. I am human:)

 I am looking forward to a good vacation. I so miss being with nature. I wish I will spend time at the beach or at the mountains. More than these, I am truly looking forward to have a more happy and more peaceful family gathering. 

Namaste everyone!

Stepping Into The Present Moment

Stepping Into The Present Momen

Thoughts on the 3rd of December

I am counting the days till another year ends. What has become of me so far? I am thinking of moving forward..new job, new residence, new county, same old lifestyle- Yoga and teaching. I can sense that there is a bigger world out there. I just need to take it easy.

More to come.

Namaste!

Dreadful comeback

I am a yogin, an ashtangi, at that. I need to be reminded that whatever it is that I am going through is part and parcel of my entire yogic practice. I need to recognize the fact that my joy and peace aren't rooted from my job and from the people I encounter everyday. I can always find it within me. No one has the capacity to make things work for me without my permission.

My  break is almost over and I honestly can say that this is the first time that I dread going back to work at the University. I feel I don't anymore belong to the system. I wonder why everything became dreary. Is it just because of my hormones or is the universe really leading me somewhere better than where I am?

I need to be in a place where the energy is smooth, I am tired of the travel. The pollution is killing me. People's pretenses are very overwhelming.

I love my students but dear Universe, please let me love myself too.

Om,

A random trip

the heaviness that I feel is getting more overwhelming each day but this self is grateful for despite the ordeal, I still find any chance that I can get to keep myself grounded. Aside from few asanas each time, I do not  forget to stay closer to nature. Nothing beats the joy when you're home.

Yesterday, I visited a nearby park and I was so happy just by being there. Meeting few good souls made me feel more safe. I am very grateful for Kuya Roger, one of the gardeners there who became my photographer and tour guide. You see, the world is still very beautiful, indeed.

Here are some of the photos from Rave Rainforest Park in Pasig. Namaste.

                                     

The Best of Me ..My favorite quotes

I decided to watch this film today after having some doubts. You see, I am still not centered up till now  and most of all, my emotions are way too low.  Blame it to PMS:) Anyway, after church, I purchased my ticket and with my favorite pop corn and a bottle of water, I went inside the cinema 15 minutes early. See, that's how punctual I am.

The movie was good. It has made me recall fond memories of people who were with me at some points in my life. The idea of loving someone for so long a time is really not an illusion after  all. Even if you won't end up being with that person anymore, love is still valid. There is never any limit to loving. Indeed, when you meet the right person, the best of you surfaces. I know it.:)

These are some good quotes I love bringing with me through life. There is so much wisdom, pain, joy and love in here.  Take time. 

1. “That's why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like toss starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn't constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered-- not my family or your family or anyone else in the world. It was just us.” 

2. “Don't take my advice. Or anyone's advice. Trust yourself. For good or for bad, happy or unhappy, it's your life, and what you do with it has always been entirely up to you.” 

3. “Life was messy. Always had been and always would be and that was just the way it was, so why bother complaining? You either did something about it or you didn’t, and then you lived with the choice you made.” 

4. “I don't know that I've ever felt as happy as I did that day, but then again, it was always like that when we were together. I never wanted it to end.” 

5.“You'll make mistakes and struggle like everyone, but when you are with the right person, you'll almost perfect joy, like you are the luckiest person who ever lived. And that means you'll love and be loved...and in the end, nothing else really matters.”  


 ( all quotes taken from http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/15677976-the-best-of-me)

Stay in love.Namaste!

first of november

While the others are busy attending to the holiday obligations like visiting their dead loved ones at the cemetery, I am simply pensive almost the whole time in my little abode.Juggling from doing simple asanas (actually all stretchings), doing the laundry, eating a lot of carbs with with fish, watching The Voice reruns, skyping with my family and teaching Efe, my whole day was basically all full. This is not the highlight actually. I am very hormonal and because of this I tend to be lethargic and emotional. Challenging ordeal, huh!

Despite this womanity, I still find time to remember in my own way those who departed specially my sister. I lighted some incense and candles and prayed that all the souls may rest in peace. 

I feel very grateful for Gerardo for allowing me to have a taste of a Mexican spirit. Here it is.

I am looking forward to a more peaceful and balanced days ahead of me. 

Om shanti, shanti.


HAPPY HALLOWEEN:)

New Moon thoughts

I am enjoying my sem break, thankfully. My body's still sore from my intense practice yesterday at the shala. I was really happy though for  I was able to practice with my favorite teacher after a few months of not seeing him. I was more focused yesterday on my second series. Those poses that require me to put my legs at the back of my head..Wow! I guess I did improve.I am grateful.

I had a morning class with my mexican student, Gerardo, since I was sporting a bad cold last night. The fifty minute online learning was both fun and tedious as it gave us both the limitation in terms of him learning how to say English words correctly. I can see though that he will surely succeed in this endeavor because he's truly dedicated. KUDOS Gerardo:)

So, there were three men who wanted to chat with me online today. I didnt feel the vibe. I had to let go. My longing to have that pure love isn't available yet..hahahha

Thoughts wander too, gravitating on both the good and the not so good. It must be the moon or my own lack of drive to go out.

Generally, the day is a clean one. My eyes are tired though.

This is just me trying to be boring on a new moon day.

Have a happy one. Namaste!

Just dropping by :)

It's been almost a month since I last parked in here. Things were tough since my sister went into treatment. Fate led her to leave the hospital. She's still in denial. All our efforts seemed fruitless. Right now, I guess she hated us, as expected. My mom got all the wrath. I am helpless. Still surrendering everything.

It's almost the semestral break at the university. I am so wanting to be free from paperworks, annoying people, toxic system and stressful travel. I am just so missing my students. Life  in the field is 80 percent love and 20 percent indifference. I just don't want to be  consumed by the system and negative people. I wish there are more like minds out there. I don't want to sound arrogant but I simply can't enjoy conversations that deal with people, money..ahhh, all negativity.

MY body, because of fatigue, is aching until now. My colds or shall I advocate this to my allergies, really got its toll on me. I have my runny nose. My head's heavy at times. Still, there is my mat which welcomes my vulnerable self. I am glad I have a place  to go home too.

I am grateful for all the people who made my first semester going. My students, my encounter with them, the hugs, the tears,the laughter.. all these matter to me. Now, I am teary. I am still bad at saying goodbyes. I guess I won't outgrow this.

Today, I am alone but my heart is peaceful. I had my practice this morning. I am glad my ekapada is getting alright. Kudos to my more opened hips.

I am listening to Billy Joel at Spotify now. I just love to be grateful.

Have a great weekend. Till next time.

Namaste.

A journey-day 1

Today marks the beginning of my sister's journey towards healing. In all honesty, my heart is so broken right now. I guess the whole family is broken. My brother, I'm pretty sure is saddened. We all are. We are a family.

I cried bitterly this morning knowing my dear sister was very helpless in her ordeal. I felt like we betrayed her. I  could not do anything more. I am the only one who's distant from them. I am thinking of her now. I miss her terribly. I miss her beautiful self. I am praying that after all these, she would come back stronger. I love her.

I know having moments of  depression is difficult but I am pretty certain her ordeal is far greater than what all lonely people suffer. Delusions are scary at some point. We had no choice but to  let her deal with this seriously.

I just miss her badly. May the Universe heal her. 

Om shanti, shanti.

A stormy practice, I guess:)

Another storm is going to fall anytime today.It has been, in fact, torrentially raining since yesterday. My vow to practice on a Sunday at the shala (this month) was a bit disturbed as I wasn't that sure whether I'm gonna make it or not. Anyway, I was able to arrive early and settled in my favorite spot. I was ready to practice when I suddenly was distracted by the strong smell of the paint or something. Since I have rhinitis, I am basically very sensitive to fragrance like this.

Everyone was  disturbed. Two practitioners even suspended their practice. The mexican teacher talked to me and I told him I had a difficulty breathing. I wanted to give up the practice too but i still thought, I needed to be there badly.

I frequently sniffed and went out at least once. My head's already heavy. I was thankful I was able to survive. I was humbled as i went on with my asanas. My teacher gave me constructive feedbacks, particularly with my laghu and kappotassana. I am still not that strong. He patiently helped me.

I guess I wasn't paying attention to his instructions for he reminded me of this. I didn't even notice. It always takes one wise teacher to detect. 

I finished my practice. My eyes were teary...until now. My head's heavy. My nose clogged. I had to use my inhaler.

The rain is so overwhelming outside. I am emotional. I am a victim of rhinitis. I  am stormy too. Still, the universe is stronger. I am sure, just like the storm, things will be alright.

keep safe everyone. 

Om shanti, shanti. 

Fun.: Why Am I The One [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

I  just love them.I love Nate. I love his voice.I love his candor. I love all their songs. I love this video. I love fun.

Panic attack? :(

The yogic in me has been challenged for the past week. The body manifested signs of weakness as it was exposed to a lot of free radicals, particularly, smoke and body sprays of all kinds. It was surprising because after a very long time, I got to stay at the University infirmary because of a migraine attack. It was so bad that while having my class, I thought, I would eventually collapse. I was chilling big time while resting for a few minutes. I knew I was not alright.

Practice was kind of dragging and painful at the back. I had to skip drop backs for I felt that my middle spine was in pain. It was very emotiona. I just wanted to cry. Things happened and they kept happening at home and at work. Then I got panicky even when I was trying to breathe and relax. 

This is where I am at until now. My stomach releases a lot of gas. I am bloated too.

..but you know what?  I am still grateful because I am aware of all these. I know these  come to pass. My body will go back to its natural, relaxed and beautiful state. Everything will certainly be ok again. Inshallah.

In the meantime, I wish everyone, A happy weekend.

Here's something about panic attack for you. Click here.

Signs and symptoms of a panic attack. Click the link for more.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/panic_disorder_anxiety_attack_symptom_treatment.htm

Panic attacks often strike when you’re away from home, but they can happen anywhere and at any time. You may have one while you’re in a store shopping, walking down the street, driving in your car, or sitting on the couch at home.

The signs and symptoms of a panic attack develop abruptly and usually reach their peak within 10 minutes. Most panic attacks end within 20 to 30 minutes, and they rarely last more than an hour.

A full-blown panic attack includes a combination of the following signs and symptoms:

Shortness of breath or hyperventilation Heart palpitations or a racing heart Chest pain or discomfort Trembling or shaking Choking feeling Feeling unreal or detached from your surroundings

Sweating Nausea or upset stomach Feeling dizzy, light-headed, or faint Numbness or tingling sensations Hot or cold flashes Fear of dying, losing control, or going crazy

Sunday thoughts

When it rains, it really pours. I am not only talking about the quite unstoppable torrential rains that visit my country this year but I am also hinting that my life has been abundantly blessed with so much. (and I do not only mean the good but also the not so good circumstances)

My sister is still suffering from her delusions but the good news is the family is getting more connected this time. As an eldest sister, it is probably my biggest role to assure that everyone takes her/his task well. I guess I have done quite a job. I know this is going to be tough in all aspects but there is always that hope that my sister will bounce back more beautifully.

I received my permanency status recently at work. It is just funny because I am not really happy. I am glad, yes, for i am still gonna teach but there is this haunting feeling of not belonging to this community. Like what I have been saying in my previous blog-there is just too much complacency here.

I am anxious to travel again. First in the list..KOREA. May the universe conspire with me. 

Om shant, shanti.

Whatever that life offers me now, I am pretty sure, I am good.

Namaste!

thoughts on a new moon

There are just some things in life that i need to throw away soon. Perhaps this includes my job in the university. It is painful just thinking about it but I feel like I am trapped in a place that I really don't belong to. There is just one thing that connects me here. It's always my love for teaching. 

It is funny how one is brought to a place so unexpectedly and teach a subject that she is not even accustomed to. I need to say that I am learning as I go along but I am surrounded with so much inauthenticity that I feel so suffocated. The value system is not just fit to what I have.  Work ethics is just way too different.

There is just gossip everywhere. There is too much judgment. A lot of rude people around. I am trying to follow a spiritual path but I feel like i am drawn far from it. I love humanity but there are just practices here that I couldn't swallow.

Yoga teaches me to let go. To avoid restrain.To stop pushing nor pulling and just let things be. If anything hampers my way back to my center, i think it's time to go. 

Ohh universe, help me. 

Om shanti shanti.

Glenda's wrath

 Classes were suspended in all levels and i was again all alone trying to be centered in my abode while the heavy rains and strong wind lashed outside. Water kept gushing from somewhere and freely entered my room. It kept me busy then as i needed to prevent my place to be drenched. 

I did my very short practice and read a very helpful book. Electric power was down for a while so a simple breakfast and lunch was taken. 

I am grateful Glenda slowly relaxes now. Electricity is back. I am still generally calm. 

Life is like that. Storm comes and goes but it sure does leave lessons that can make us better and stronger people.

May everyone be safe. Om shanti, shanti.

thought on teaching

Somehow, there is always that point in life when we need to stop again and grasp the meaning of everything that we are still doing. My third year of being a Theology professor  is kind of surreal for me. I am not anymore that driven to deliver the craft. I am just glad I have not lost that passion to teach but I can honestly say that I am not seeing myself being in the theological arena for long. Something's haunting within..Oopsss, yoga teaching?:)

Chronicling the days that were

It has been a while since my last post here, I guess. I have been hovering from being a domesticated mermaid to being a not- so- ready- to teach professor. The mind was way too out of focus for so many days and it was indeed a challenge to be centered. I guess I have anxiety attack. I was  way too ahead from what was supposed to happen. Slowly, painstakingly, I am getting attuned again.

School is opening this Monday but I am not very conditioned yet to go back. The K-12 thing is beginning to come into full view and I can sense that it will truly affect me and many of the teachers. There is always a better world out there after two years. Still, I couldn't help but worry. Om shanti, shanti.

It's Fathers' day tomorrow and I honestly could not grasp indifference I feel towards my father. Our relationship may not be as close as before, but deep within my core, I know I love him dearly and I am grateful for everything.

My practice has been progressing. The teacher has been giving me many poses in the second series. I am grateful that he believes in me. I will keep on practicing until everything will come.

Namaste!

the world upside down

while headstanding. the dog on the sideline just patiently watched. 'twas a sight worth remembering. taken at White Castle Beach Resort, Calatagan, Batangas

 Life is not devoid of uncertainties. It is, on the contrary, so full of them. It is always a lesson learn the hard way for me. Nothing in this world is beyond our grasp-our future included. More than anything else, life is not lived in a linear kind of way. At times, we need to defy the usual pattern we are trudging in order for us to find our way back to where we are supposed to belong. Of course, this is rebellion in the real sense of the word. Doing the not so ordinary feat is above all--SCARY-- but it's worth it, I believe so.

The world upside down is no less than the world that I don't normally trod. I find it amusing that I can  defy gravity and still emerge solid. In a world where everything is laid before us ,with all its trappings, I can see that there is something beyond this state than the naked eyes can decipher. I figure that out when I bravely breathe and make detours on my own.Scary, yes, but life is not constant. Only those who dare truly live.

Yoga teaches me that there are other possibilities out there. All I need is take that leap, breathe, and let go.

Namaste!

Today

The practice today was emotional, tiring, dragging, heavy and above all painful in all aspects. At this juncture, moreover, I cry copious tears. My heart is just so heavy. I cant pinpoint the cause of my disposition but i don't really need to. This is my state now and I need to embrace it. 

Om for strength, joy and wisdom.

Full moon reflections

The moon outside my window last night:)

While the moon is keeping me company, I am having several thoughts circling around my brain. I honestly feel like going back to the university is not anymore a good idea for me. There is that terrible sense of longing to move away from Theology and go back to teach English. I guess I already have gotten the taste of being a Theologian. Anyway, let's see. :)

I have this strong urge to travel to Korea. Like it has been a while since i keep seeing myself visiting this place. I am sending this intention to the Universe. I know soon, i will be there.

I also want to undergo a teacher training for yoga. It is beginning to haunt me. This only means that I need to practice, practice and practice till all will come. :)

Oh moon bless my intentions :)

Om shanti!

~On Boredom & Interest, by Jiddu-Krishnamurti~

 Because boredom creeps in and really, I am beginning to feel and think I'm  going insane..well, humanity bites. :)  Read please..


 

"If you are bored, why are you bored? What is the thing called boredom? Why is it that you are not interested in anything? There must be reasons and causes which have made you dull: suffering, escapes, beliefs, incessant activity, have made the mind dull, the heart unpliable.

If you could find out why you are bored, why there is no interest, then surely you would solve the problem, wouldn't you? Then the awakened interest will function.

If you are not interested in why you are bored, you cannot force yourself to be interested in an activity, merely to be doing something - like a squirrel going round in a cage. I know that this is the kind of activity most of us indulge in.

But we can find out inwardly, psychologically, why we are in this state of utter boredom; we can see why most of us are in this state: we have exhausted ourselves emotionally and mentally; we have tried so many things, so many sensations, so many amusements, so many experiments, that we have become dull, weary.

We join one group, do everything wanted of us and then leave it; we then go to something else and try that. If we fail with one psychologist, we go to somebody else or to the priest; if we fail there, we go to another teacher, and so on; we always keep going. This process of constantly stretching and letting go is exhausting, isn't it? Like all sensations, it soon dulls the mind."

"We have done that, we have gone from sensation to sensation, from excitement to excitement, till we come to a point when we are really exhausted. Now, realizing that, don't proceed any further; take a rest. Be quiet. Let the mind gather strength by itself; don't force it.

As the soil renews itself during the winter time, so, when the mind is allowed to be quiet, it renews itself. But it is very difficult to allow the mind to be quiet, to let it lie fallow after all this, for the mind wants to be doing something all the time. When you come to that point where you are really allowing yourself to be as you are - bored, ugly, hideous, or whatever it is - then there is a possibility of dealing with it."

"What happens when you accept something, when you accept what you are? When you accept that you are what you are, where is the problem? There is a problem only when we do not accept a thing as it is and wish to transform it - which does not mean that I am advocating contentment; on the contrary.

If we accept what we are, then we see that the thing which we dreaded, the thing which we called boredom, the thing which we called despair, the thing which we called fear, has undergone a complete change. There is a complete transformation of the thing of which we were afraid.

That is why it is important, as I said, to understand the process, the ways of our own thinking. Self-knowledge cannot be gathered through anybody, through any book, through any confession, psychology, or psychoanalyst.

It has to be found by yourself, because it is your life; without the widening and deepening of that knowledge of the self, do what you will, alter any outward or inward circumstances, influences - it will ever be a breeding ground of despair, pain, sorrow.

To go beyond the self-enclosing activities of the mind, you must understand them; and to understand them is to be aware of action in relationship, relationship to things, to people and to ideas.

In that relationship, which is the mirror, we begin to see ourselves, without any justification or condemnation; and from that wider and deeper knowledge oF the ways of our own mind, it is possible to proceed further; it is possible for the mind to be quiet, to receive that which is real."

~Jiddu-Krishnamurti
The First and Last Freedom

Shared by Rob Zen
Tao & Zen Community Forum

Thanks Mama

                                 

This Mother's day, let me honor once again a woman who has been there for us and with us no matter what the circumstances are. She has never wavered  in supporting us in her very own special way. Despite all the hurts that we cause her, she's withstood them all and her strength is beyond compare. She may not be that gentle in dealing with us but she is that. She demonstrates her love for us in the way that she knows best. WE may question her, fight with her, agree with her and be indifferent with her but she in the end is very willing to accept and forgive us.

Thank you Mama. I know I will not be a mother like you so I will never understand the wisdom of the way you deal with the family. I admire you so much and I'm sorry for hurting you.

I love you mama. Take care always.

Yoga today

There is always something about yoga that sweeps me off my feet. After my struggle of boredom, aimlessness and resignation for few days, today's practice was just so intense that I could not anymore decipher how I survived the rest of the poses in the second series. (Oh, thank you teacher Jon for giving me those three pretzel-like asanas) The breathing, the sweat and the energy of the women and my teacher inside the shala were enough reasons for me to be grateful.

Yoga saved me again from wallowing in my own self-emptying. It allowed me to go back to my very core...my beautiful self. It gave me the strength once more to live even just today in peace. It allowed me to clearly see the most important things in life. I am grateful to all the teachers for this gift.

Being with my like minds also inspired me to be happy again. I am very thankful for today.

Namaste everyone!

Find time to appreciate the little joys in life today.

Suffering

photo taken from https://www.facebook.com/TheMindUnleashed/photos/a.434569209933563.103142.432632306793920/716543028402845/?type=1&theater

                               
Yes and there is no blaming others for everything that one gets to experience in life. Our choices determine the kind of life we are living so there is no point aiming at someone for whatever it is that we are suffering.                                 

My summer is a mixture of all that life has to offer. The heat is excruciatingly taking its toll on me. I am easily irritated and tired. My body is just not friendly with the humidity of the season. It is a roller coaster ride of emotions, something I can call unpredictable. Oh, well, I guess it's also part of my being a female specie, huh!

I feel so unproductive as I am really idle most of the time. I want to go out often but there are factors that hinder me. Financially wise, I need to be cautious. I am specifically bored with the way my life is leading me. I want  to be active because aside from being laidback, I am really energetic.

Since I am alone most often I turn to books and some good shows on TV. I practice some poses too but something is just telling me I still can do something more.

As I am writing this, It just dawned on me what Osho has emphatically said above. It is not really about where I am or who I am with. My discomfort and convenience depend on me alone.

I need to breathe now. Everything is gonna be alright. I have to make it work today. Ohh, how about some handstands on the wall for strength? :)

Whatever state we  are in, let's just get the most out of it. Peace everyone. All is well in the end.

Namaste!

My Jesuits (late post)

 
Finally, they're officially Jesuit priests. This heart is happy and grateful. After more than ten years of friendship, prayer and love they made it with the other 6.

It was a very moving thing for my friend, jun ( fathet Neo SJ now) and also Father Eric  to bless us. It was so heartfelt.

Now, i have more people to pray for. My jesuits are now on tour of duty. Ad majorem de gloriam!

With Father Neo (Jun) and Mark before the ordination started

Father Eric, SJ in the house :)

                           

On relationships

There are things in life that aren't easy to handle. Relationships are one of them. Because we are relational beings, we can't help but but be affected with all that transpire between and among those surrounding our circles. Any glimpse of joy and sorrow, hope and despair, conflict and peace are always consciously and unconsciously shared with the rest of humanity, far and near.

I have my equal share of these seemingly difficult to handle things. I am talking about my family. It is very hard not to get affected. At the same time, it is so dramatically suffocating to get attuned to what each member is going through. Still, amidst all these conflicted paradigms, I come across a very sublime way of dealing with anything like this. I have to be centered. I don't have to forget that life only gives us something that we can handle. We just need to be steady for any hint of panic will surely devastate the natural course of things.

A friend confided to me today about her ordeal concerning her relationship with a boyfriend. I see that she's undergoing a vicious cycle of "what to do about this relationship?" syndrome. AS Yogins, that's what we call ourselves, I help her acknowledge that there is always this thing called "letting go." There are just things in life that don't matter in the end. Even people.

Any relationship has to be a good one. Something that allows the participant to grow, to breathe, to be. If there is any form of oppression, I guess it's time to change gear.

Life offers us choices. At the end of the day, I guess we have to make sure that we are doing justice to ourselves because it is only by doing so that we can be of great relationship with others.

Namaste!

Asanas reflections

I had my practice at the shala today. I honestly felt heavy and lacked focus as i pushed through my asanas. I have been giving in to my cravings of eating too much, particularly rice, since i am experiencing PMS. Lo and behold, i felt heavy on my belly. I was grateful still because i was able to pull through the whole series.

Teacher jon and I had simple breakfast at the Coffeebean and enjoyed our own way of satsang. One thing very significant  that i want to reecho is that in yoga, it really doesn't matter whether you are certified or not because at the end of the day, it is the years of dedicated practice and commitment to the yogic life that will make you a great guru. 

Someday, i wish to be the guru that many students would like to emulate. 

"Practice, practice and all is coming."

Namaste!

Bending but not breaking

Despite life's odds, I wont break.I will simply bend.

So here i am again after being away for awhile. Life has been good, not to mention, challenging the past weeks.

I had to go home to check on my sister as well as my folks during the holy week. I am grateful until now to my brother for giving me the tickets. You know how tight my budget is as i dont have remuneration during summer. 

I am worried, yes, since I know my family is affected by what my sister is going through. I had a conflict with my father because it seemed to me that he's  not doing enough and that he would not even manage to humbly accept points from others. I know I should have been more tolerant as he's old and sick but this is supposed to be a family affair. 

My lovely sister

Anyway, my sister, I know will get over this state of being fixated to someone.. I don't know when or how. But she will. 

I'd like to salute my mom for being so strong. My heart is moved seeing her suffer but not defeated. I want to make her happier. 

I am back in my own abode- alone and humbled. There is the universe that always conspires. In its own space and time, things will be alright. 

with my beautiful mom

                              

                                         My heart is lifted. I am bent but never broken. 

                                                          Namaste!

Painful , tearful

Confronting the self, i am deeply hurt. All my frailties surfaced and it's excruciatingly painful. This is necessary though. There is a thought of giving up. Abandonment is a big thing. This is yoga. The journey within is always endless. 

Help me universe that i may not totally crumble anf if i did, i hope i can still lift myself up. Aum..

My zen inspired birthday

I turned 43 yesteday. Ahhh, I am grateful always for the age but really it is just a number. The most important query is that whether or not i have done enough for the more than 4 decades in this world.

Anyway,Ii guess that will be expounded in my later episodes. I just want to share that after many considerations, I bravely went on a lone more than 2 hour travel to 88 hot spring, a korean owned hot spring and enjoyed my Zen birthday.  

The entire place was personalized. With all the green and blue around, I forgot at least for awhile my cares about this world. The staff were kind enough to take photos for me. There were few earthlings around so I coul literally say, I had the place all by myself.

Energy enveloped me. There was just so much positivity around. The korean food was heavenly too.

I was alone but I was surrounded with life. I had so much company, you know.  Bliss!

  The eight pools provided Chi'..

One of the pools where I frolicked

The tree of life...chi' abounds

My fave Korean feast

                        

the art of friendship

If there is one thing that inspires me so much in this world, it is always being able to connect with souls that would leave a huge impact in my life. These earthling could be anyone i meet randomly or she/he could be someone i constantly encounter at a particular setting.

Today was just one of those blessed random moments when my fellow yogin, Redge and I had spent four straight hours of conversations over a lunch. It was sheer fluid interaction between souls who didn't need extra effort to keep the conversation going. There was raw emotion involved. Tears naturally flowed after telling and hearing poignant personal stories. 

It was so soulful yet fun at the same time. My heart until now is very grateful for my Redge. 

Real friendship is always raw...pure..simple..unassuming.

Thank you Universe:)

Hello there...Random thoughts

Oh well, it has been more than a month, i guess. Life has also been a roller coaster ride for me. Bumpy at times, but , yes I have reached destinations safe and sound.

I am officially on my summer break. This means I will be salary-less for two months. This is gonna be awesome. Doing the budget means scrapping myself of things that aren't necessary. 

I have also decided not to take any classes related to Theology. I need a break. My mind just cant get the heck of everything. I just want to live a normal summer. There is no point being exhausted again. 

Family matters are still in place. A sister needs ample prayer and attention. There is this voice within me that says she's gonna make this through.My family will get over this and we will be better.

My PMS is getting worse each month. My recent research confirms that there is such a thing as premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I guess I am having this. Gees, inhale exhale.

Looking forward for my 43rd. Dear God, Grant me my heart's desires.

Ohmmm. 

Namaste!

 

Om

It's a monday but i was glad to be free from school. I went to the shala after debating in my head

whether to go or not. Practice was intense. The teacher was gentle though. I love the sweat. I love the
energy. I love being connected. Thank you Universe.

me and like minds this  morning.Photos taken by my teacher Jon

How Negative Energy Affects Your Life and How to Clear It

How Negative Energy Affects Your Life and How to Clear It

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First practice for 2014

Because it's a holiday in Manila today, I decided to practice at the shala. I woke up at 5 in the morning only to be welcomed by a tired body and weak disposition. I just wanted to sleep longer.My period culminated yesterday but I still have the bouts of it. The cold temperature added to my discomfort. I went to practice anyway.

I was glad to be back at our original shala. We were situated in another area for the moment though.

Detach!

 So, what's keeping me busy? after my bittersweet holiday with my family, I guess I havent been that well physically and spiritually.I have good practices but I have noticed that work has been eating me up. It's not so much on teaching, though.It's what is beyond that. People, demands, work ethics, ahhh, travel, included. I am really drained.

The yogi in me is screaming. Detach!